‘I know that when you said nothing about seeing us that night, when you said to the reporters that you were never here – those choices were an act of love. I imagine you might have found it difficult at times. You’re a good person. You must have wondered about me. Could I have done what Amber said I did? Did you know me at all? In my most hopeful moments, I believe you made those choices because you do know me. You know that I could never be violent. Predatory. I can’t make you believe that, I accept that. But I can hope. And I can acknowledge it. You’ve been a friend to me, is the simplest way of putting it. You have chosen to believe the best of me and at a cost to yourself, perhaps.’

‘You’ve been so wonderful to me. You’re the reason I’m doing everything I ever dreamt of doing.’

‘Sam texted me to say you’d refused to cut ties with me, even if it meant seeing your movie break apart. And I know that film means everything to you. So I know you’ve been asked to count the cost of our friendship. And it’s amazing to me that you’ve done that and you’ve decided, yes, the cost is worth bearing.’

Matthew wipes a tear away from his eyes. ‘We’ll get through this, but it won’t be the same as before. I know you won’t forget what I’ve told you today and sometimes I’ll feel humiliated by that. Ashamed. Well, so be it. But other changes will be better. I can’t ever again think of you as my employee. We’ll figure something out but I hope we’ll produce together. I’ll support you, of course, but I have seen who you are. I know you’ve got talent but you’ve got more than that. I want to help you take flight. It’s not a debt, Becky. It’s atonement. It’s clarity. It’s … simply a determination to do better from now on. To deserve the friendship you’ve shown me. And I’ll see that through.’

‘I know you will,’ she says, and she picks up her full glass. ‘To friendship,’ she says.

‘To friendship,’ Matthew says, before they both raise their glasses and put them to their lips at the same time – the best way to seal this thing, this togetherness. She allows the whisky to pass through her lips and flow over her tongue. It is warm and it stings.

Then Matthew turns around and pushes the window wide open for the outside air to finally rush in.

Chapter 20

Becky sleeps, but her dreams feel as vivid and urgent as her waking life: a thousand images, cracked and distorted, like an old television being tuned, passing through the channels and back again.