It was the first time we’d really talked since everything went down, since she threw me out like old garbage and walked away like it didn’t hurt her at all. Even now, I knew she was playing the game, dropping a tempting piece of bait right in my face to see if I’d swipe up and take it, only for her to reel me in and toss me back out again.

It pissed me off.

It broke my heart.

But that wasn’t what worried me most.

What made me stay in that hot shower until my fingers pruned and my skin was beet red was the fact that something in the way I felt about her had shifted, transformed into an emotion I didn’t recognize.

And now, I wasn’t sure what the game even was anymore.

Or what I was playing for.

The bus ride back to Boston was long and rainy, just like the game had been.

Though most of my teammates were rowdy and loud, celebrating our win and making plans to continue that celebration once we made it back to campus, I sat quietly near the front in a seat next to Holden, who seemed content to listen to his headphones and leave me alone.

My mom had texted me after the game, telling me she and Brandon had gone over to Maliyah’s parents’ house to watch the game on TV. She told me how proud she was of me. She told me how proud Cory was of me. She also asked if I was coming home for Thanksgiving.

I can’t wait for you to meet Brandon!

I didn’t have the energy to answer her, nor to even finish reading the long text my father had sent me not too long after that. It wasn’t a surprise to see his name on my missed texts. About the only time I ever heard from him was on game days, and usually it was a list of things I could do better, followed by questions on whether I’d found an agent or made my pro plan yet.

I was ready to throw my phone into the nearest river until Giana texted me right as we pulled into the parking lot.

Sorry I didn’t get to see you after the game. Field was madness with all the reporters. Are you back on campus yet?

I thumbed back a response confirming we’d just pulled in.

Come over?

My heart stopped before kicking back to life, and I typed back a thumbs up emoji before my sour attitude could talk me out of it. I’d had plans to march straight to my dorm and pass out face down in my mattress, but the truth was I didn’t want to be alone.

Not with all the thoughts whirling in my mind like a tornado.