“I just told you what’s going on. This has been my plan all along,” he said, voice louder, and I watched as he willed himself with all his might to be angry, to glare down at me — but he failed pathetically, and tears filled his eyes, falling over his cheeks as my heart broke with the sight.

I reached out for him, swiping the wetness from his face before I held his cheeks in my hands.

“Don’t do this,” I begged. “I don’t know what’s going on, but please, don’t do this.”

His face twisted in grief, and he turned away from me but leaned into my palm, closing his eyes and releasing another wave of tears before he peeled my hands off him.

“I have to go,” he whispered, brushing past me.

But before he could reach the door, I ripped him back.

“Stop!” I screamed. “Stop this right now. Look at me,” I begged, grabbing his chin in my hands and forcing him. “Look at yourself. You don’t mean this. You don’t mean any of it.” I shook my head. “You don’t.”

“Please,” he pleaded, and as more tears filled his eyes, he tried to pull away from me. I didn’t know if it was shame from crying, or shame from what he was saying, or both. “I can’t.”

“You can’t what?” I asked desperately, trying to read between the lines.

He shook his head, freeing my hands from him before he kissed my fingertips and let them go completely. “You deserve to be happy, Giana. I want you to be happy. Just… move on. Go be with Shawn and—”

“I DON’T WANT TO BE WITH SHAWN,” I cried, pressing back into his space. I pushed up onto my toes, wrapped my arms around his neck and refused to leave any distance between us when I whispered, “I want to be with you.”

He cracked, a sob breaking through his veneer as I slammed my mouth over his, tasting the fresh tears there. His arms wrapped fully around me, and he kissed me like he fucking hated me, like I was the absolute bane of his existence.

And then, he pushed me back.

“I have to go,” he said, voice cracking as he went for the door.

“Whatever it is, whoever it is you think you’re helping, you’re breaking the promise you made to me,” I said to his back, and I knew I was right, knew I’d struck a nerve when he stopped abruptly, his back heaving with every breath.

Carefully, I moved around him, bending to catch his gaze.

“The promise you made to yourself,” I reminded him.

He closed his eyes, letting out a long, hot exhale. “I have to.”

“Have to what? What are you doing, exactly?”