Meanwhile, Shawn had been blowing up my phone, texting me first thing in the morning and well into the night. He texted me funny memes, interesting news articles, songs that he wanted to know if I’d heard before, and even pictures of him throughout various sections of his day. The only time his name wasn’t on my phone screen was when he was in class or at a gig, and I marveled at how I’d gone from being invisible to him, to feeling like I was the center of his attention.

And I liked it.

I liked that he was thinking of me, and that he was making an effort to let me know that he was. I liked that he called me things like beautiful and said good morning, gorgeous every single day.

Still, something was off, something deep inside me that I couldn’t put my finger on — not directly, anyway.

I was in a book funk, unable to read more than a page or two before I’d huff and close the book, shelving it in an attempt to try another one. Even my tried and true favorites to re-read weren’t doing the trick, and so I spent whatever time I wasn’t in class or at the stadium lying on my bed and staring up at my ceiling.

I talked to my sisters and brothers on a group sibling video call, listening to them catch me up on their lives as I was silent as usual. Only Laura asked me how my job was, one time, and after a short but satisfying answer for them, the conversation shifted back to our brothers’ current business venture.

Eventually, Friday came, and though they weren’t the familiar ones I remembered when I was trying to pick out an outfit for that night Clay took me to see Shawn play downtown, I still had butterflies as I dressed in my joggers and a tank top. I styled my hair to make it look like I hadn’t tried, applying light makeup and throwing on an oversized hoodie before I walked the few blocks to Shawn’s place.

He lived a little off campus just like I did, though his building was newer, with a lobby that had a twenty-four-seven attendant at the desk. She called Shawn when I arrived, getting his approval before letting me into the bank of elevators and pushing the number for his floor.

My stomach twisted as the numbers ticked higher and higher, and then I stepped out into the hallway, immediately seeing Shawn standing in his open doorway at the end of it.

Those strange butterflies fluttered into a tizzy at the sight of him.