She’d had the genius idea of hooking up with a featured influencer every single day—guaranteed traffic. Way simpler than flying halfway around the world to eat meat and raisin pies. It was her comment on Dove’s leaderboard that really got me, though.

Best of luck to all the others. SUCH a shame @OneEleOfATime had to start her account again, but I know you’ve got this boo! #pickyourselfup #downbutnotout #inspo

Such a shame?! It was 100 percent because of her!

And she’d deliberately spelled my name wrong so people couldn’t even click me.

I hated how Clara still made me feel, but if I tried to tell anyone, gave Dove a heads-up, it would look like I was just trying to get her kicked out.

And that wasn’t the only bad news. @tooblessed2bstressedxx had waded in too.

Nobody:

Not even a soul:

@OneElleOfATime: who wants more of my annoying travel posts?!

I felt that familiar sick feeling I’d had in the old days of my last account. I really thought this time would be different. Although maybe it could be—my best revenge would just have to be showing them both I could win.

Determined to get back to how I’d felt when I’d opened Holly’s letter, I opened my chat with her. It was super late on her end, but she was online.

How’s it going?! I feel like I slept for 2mins?! All the details, please.

You’re awake!

YOU’RE awake! ( BACK FROM THE FUTURE)

Soooo early for you

Too right. These sights aren’t going to see themselves…

Nahhh, truth is jet lag is ruining me rn.

same.

Thanks for the card btw.

AND THE GIFTS!

do you like them?

LOVED I’m saving the wrapped one though. That OK?

Sure! I don’t opeN Presents before the 25th anyway

Although open it SOoooON.

If you insist!!!

I LOVED your suggestions. AM TOTALLY USING all of them #Christmasexpert

Did you know it’s technically illegal to eat a mince pie in the UK on Christmas Day #fact

Wow—she really was into Christmas 24–7.

From the sound of them they should be illegal every day?!

In other fact news. Your house/life/ everything is AMAZING. You know it’s snowing, right?

Hello!? Where you live is like a movie set!!!

Even on my drive from the airport I’d spotted all these wonky buildings, and dinky pubs, and bright red letterboxes.

HOW GOOD ARE YOUR DAD’S WAFFLES???

10/10

I paused before clicking the arrow on the next message. Should I send?

How are things with Nick?

Holly typed. And stopped typing. And typed again.

Interesting.

He’s not a child?!

I had no idea what to say to that.

He said he had singing dog issues. Any ideas?!

Ermmm. Maybe.

He can be too cool for school sometimes.

Nah—everyone’s been