But if I was going to wait for Naomi, I’d be a while, as she was approximately… I rolled over, picked up my phone and looked up her latest location. Yup. 6,068 miles away. Why did I look?! For the past two months, her feed had been pure torture. What’s that, Naomi? Another picture of a white-sand beach and clear, blue water?

How were there more beaches left in Thailand for her to post about? How did the world have that much sand?!

I opened our chat.

This is not a drill! Christmas decorations have begun!

I sent her a picture of Colin and his tinsel collar. It was almost eleven p.m. her time, but she replied straightaway.

Did you ask Mum for a ladder so you could get those cards up on your desk?

I’m actually very tall now.

Was it weird that I enjoyed bickering with her, even from the other side of the world? It really was a most enjoyable hobby. The truth was, I couldn’t wait for her to be back on December 23. I felt sick-excited about it. Mum had a countdown on the fridge, and it was an unspoken thing that Naomi getting back was going to be the unofficial early start to Christmas Day. Our annual Christmas Eve party was going to be extra big this year—and I was here for it! As long as I sorted the Woody stuff before then.

If you’ve got a second in your hectic schedule of lying on a beach, or idk, making friends with a dolphin, let me know if you need me to pick any stuff up for you. Am doing Christmas shopping next Saturday.

She replied with a picture of her hugging a baby turtle. Of course she did.

Hol. Please. You need to shake off that commercial pressure of capitalism.

Wow. Maybe she really had changed.

Although can you let Mum know I’ve broken my headphones and would love a new pair. Noise canceling.

Or not.

I added the idea to the present-idea-inspo notes on my phone I kept all year ’round and got back on plan. Some people thought mid-November was too early for Christmas decor. Some people were wrong. And by the time I’d hung every bauble, draped every bit of tinsel and dangled every random ornament, it was time for the big finish.

I turned off the lights and flicked on Penny. She looked amazing. In a life-size, one-eyed, one-winged, light-up penguin way.

Normally, this would be the point where I’d decorate the rest of the house with Mum and Nay, but this year, we hadn’t gotten our tree yet. I think my sister not being here was throwing Mum off, which sucked.

I peered at Penny.

But my eyes knew the truth. I was cheating on her.

Peering at Woody’s bedroom window. Again. I must stare at it for at least two and a half hours a day.