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Back Black Ambrosia Save as PDF
Chapters (46)
  1. CoverImage
  2. Introduction by Grady Hendrix
  3. Acknowledgments
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. About the Author
  46. About the Cover

It wasn’t until I felt in danger of sleeping that I noticed we had fallen to the floor in our violent struggle, and brought half the quilt down with us. I sat up and tickled the cold flesh with my fingertips as my passions cooled even further, and as I ran my finger­tips over his knees, it happened again.

I broke through and saw Boyd.

I felt him looking out through my eyes, seeing what I saw, the beautiful, lean body of Fred Bertow, resting in the ultimate sleep, neck open and sore, quilt pulled cockeyed from the bed. And it wasn’t beautiful through Boyd’s eyes. It was pagan and disgusting.

Then it was soft again, and loving, and I turned inward, and looked directly into Boyd’s shocked and repulsed expression, and I said to him, “Do you love them before you kill them, Boyd? The defenseless animals you slaughter with automatic weapons? Do you give them pleasure, or at least a fair chance? Do you love them, Boyd? Do you love them like I do?” And then I began to laugh and I wiped my chin and felt the slippery ooze, and noticed that it had dripped down my front, between my breasts, and mixed in with my blonde pubic hair. And I laughed harder and harder, and then he was gone and I came back into the room, the silent bedroom, with just Fred and me, and I heard the dogs whining in the other room, and suddenly the humor disappeared.

It was as if I’d just awakened, and I was shocked at what I’d done. I was horrified. How had this happened? How could I have let this happen? Not only did I let it happen, but I pursued him. I made it happen.

My soul twisted inside me. Despair flooded in. I realized I had absolutely no control over my life. Everything I had done in the past months to keep the darkness from my life was all in vain. All in vain. All of it. I couldn’t believe I had killed again.

I was cold then, and afraid.

I arrived at work on time that night, but my mind was fogged and I slept off and on during my shift.

In the morning, I dragged myself around, and when eight o’clock finally came, I went to the Yacht Club to keep my breakfast date with Cap. I begged off, pleading exhaustion, but it was really shame that tired me so. He winked at me as if he understood that I’d had a wild night, and let me go.