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Back Black Ambrosia Save as PDF
Chapters (46)
  1. CoverImage
  2. Introduction by Grady Hendrix
  3. Acknowledgments
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. About the Author
  46. About the Cover

“What rules did she go by? And when did she lose her choice?”

32

32

My options overwhelmed me. I drove, gripping the steering wheel too tightly, listening to Jack’s chatter while trying to make sense of my new feelings. This new set of tools went with a new set of emotions, not necessarily conflicting, but confusing. I didn’t know where to take him, or how to approach him. My nostrils were filled with the pulse of him and my appetite was primed and ready, but I couldn’t seem to make a decision.

Finally, frustration got the better of me, so I drugged him with the music—had him fall asleep so I could think as we sped through the night. She had always given me the answers before. Shouldn’t I now have Her imagination?

I looked over at Jack, his head bobbing gently, his eyes closed, a smile gracing the corners of his mouth. He was so easily manipulated, so fragile. He was so beautiful, so available, and I was so alone.

My passions told me to stop the car where we were and have my way with him, love him and be nourished, give in to the necessary violence, grasp viciously with pleasure; my reason told me to wait, anticipate, stretch the moment, learn restraint. Without practice, my methods would always be coarse and vulgar.

I needed to stop, I needed a place to take my lover, and then a thought landed gently on my mind, and the idea brought a smile as I realized I had the power to do the impossible—I could create a place in his mind.

I pulled off into a darkened rest stop and parked the car at the far end. In the middle of the parking lot was a building with restroom facilities, phones, and drinking fountains. Behind it was nothing but flat, empty field for as far as the headlights shone. I turned them off, and the moon echoed my impression.

“Jack.” I touched his arm, noticing with disgust the high artificial-­fiber content of his clothes, desperately willing my fingers to merely touch, not clutch, and I altered the music until he stirred and awakened.

He turned sleepy eyes on me, then blinked a couple of times and rubbed his face. “Where are we? Hey, I must have dozed off. Didn’t even know how tired I was. Terrific company, huh? I’m sorry. Say, where are we?”

“We’re at my summer home, Jack. I thought we could both use some sleep. Then tomorrow we’ll get back on the road. I’ll even take you all the way to your school.”

He looked deep into my eyes and for a moment I was afraid that he’d found me out, that he could read the lie written there upon my soul. Afraid he could see Rosemary’s face in my seduction technique. In defense, I turned the music up and his probing look shallowed.