She overlooks that reprehensible group—the bisexual men and women—who with their sexually uncommitted behaviour also negate the serious work done by committed homosexual and lesbians for their cause. Nevertheless, the lady makes a valid point.

The Aftermath

Every child is vulnerable, dependent, innocent and needy, be it a boy or a girl. And so when it is sexually abused there is almost simultaneously the violation of its physical, emotional and mental state. Dr Shekhar Seshadri describes what happens internally and almost immediately to the child. Says he, quoting from Recollecting Our Lives, ‘The child goes into what is called the survivor’s cycle.’

• First the sexual abuse causes confusion. What is he, or she, doing? What is happening to me, I cannot understand. I do not like it but I do not know how to stop it. Is what he is doing normal and okay? Where can I be safe? I cannot save myself, I cannot do anything right.
• This leads to self-estrangement. I am always wrong. Why can’t I be like everyone else? I am not normal. I am not important. No one cares about me. No one cares how I feel. I don’t count. I do not want to be me.
• And this leads to the saddest part, the wrong set of survival skills. I have to hide inside myself. I have to protect myself. I cannot let people see who or how I really am. How can I keep from exposing the real me?
• Now the child feels trapped. I cannot change my life or myself. I can’t change anything. I am responsible for who I have become. I am responsible for what happened to me because I did not stop it, I did not tell anyone either. I must keep the secret to survive. It is my fault.
• And all of this leads to a negative sense of self. I do not know who I am. I deserve whatever I get. If they really knew me they would dislike me and be disgusted by me. I am a phoney, I am only about falsehood. I do not deserve better. I am a bad person, everyone is better than me.

The cycle continues, wheels within wheels, spokes of shame being added each time the child recalls the sexual abuse and the sense of powerlessness. The cycle continues; as it almost always and invariably does since Indian parents, if they detect the Child Sexual Abuse quickly enough, which is again rare, concentrate on the child’s physical aspect and their family’s social standing post the abuse. The child’s emotional and mental violation is overlooked; that child within, with its feelings all locked up, grows up physically and displays some of the ‘sleeper effects’ of Child Sexual Abuse, some of which could emerge with dramatic impact as long-term aspects of Child Sexual Abuse.

Thus, the long-term effects of Child Sexual Abuse can be devastating.