A child’s sexual exploration of itself as a human being can include trying to stick fingers or small objects into several openings of its body like the nose, ears, belly button or genitals. By the age of seven children want to know where they came from and play games which would include ‘you show me yours and I’ll show you mine’. By twelve the boys are into ejaculation contests between themselves and girls use their own body language. In other words, both sexes may begin to experiment with sexual behaviours and may be interested or disinterested, alternatively, in the process.

What would be abnormal for children of any age is to be obsessively preoccupied with their own bodies or that of others. Or if their behaviour turns coercive towards others or injurious to themselves. This is what parents should understand, to be able to differentiate their child’s normally developing sexuality from the possible presence of Child Sexual Abuse.

Sensitizing parents, along with the teachers, to a child’s sexuality can have a greater impact. Sangath’s awareness programmes have increased referrals of Child Sexual Abuse from Goa’s schools. Among the cases which have been referred there were those of three girls below fifteen years of age who presented with persistent urinary tract infection, headaches and ‘daytime bed-wetting’. Enquiries revealed that all three had been sexually abused: by a male at home, by an older male mate in the school and by a bus conductor.

Sex education in schools, followed by an intensive course in the first year of college, is imperative in today’s times. Indian children are also sexually maturing much faster than they ever did. With specific reference to Child Sexual Abuse, the unfortunate flip side to this is that any of these victimized children may mistake the sexual abuse for love and care-getting at an even earlier age. All relationships, subsequently, could be lust first, love later, if at all.

Ergo, what is needed—at priority level—is Sex Ed in both schools and colleges. For the beginners at junior school, very basic Sex Ed which would comprise information on ‘good touch, bad touch’ and other aspects of Child Sexual Abuse. At the senior school level, Sex Ed not about birds and bees but about Aids and the body’s orifices, the penis and the vagina and the babies which can come out as a consequence. At first year college level, Sex Ed about meaningful sexual behaviour where love must come first, so that respect and trust can be what cements a meaningful relationship and not lust.

Oh yes, the parents might agree, jolly good idea, let them—the teachers—get on with it. What are those teachers doing?

It is not enough that Sex Ed be taught in schools; parents—through their Parent Teacher Associations in schools—need to keep an eye on what exactly is being taught in the name of Sex Ed.

A middle-age Mumbaii mother, accidentally pregnant, miscarried the foetus. Her school-going son looked accusingly at her to say, ‘You did an abortion, you are horrible!’ The boy was being taught in his school, as part of his Sex Ed classes, that abortion was evil.