BooksBarbecue
Back Big Boned Save as PDF
Chapters (67)
  1. Big Boned
  2. CONTENTS
  3. Dedication
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. One Month Later
  60. Acknowledgments
  61. About the Author
  62. Copyright
  63. About the Publisher
  64. Backad 1
  65. Backad 2
  66. Backad 3
  67. Backad 4

“I don’t think you hate her, Lori. But I don’t think you get what you need from her—what you deserve from her—and I think it hurts. Same goes for your dad. Their divorce didn’t just mess your mom up.” She said that last part pointedly, and I knew what she meant. I don’t like to admit how hurt I was by the divorce and my father’s infidelity. It’s not like he cheated on me, but sometimes it feels that way.

“Have you ever really spoken to your dad about the divorce, and how it made you feel?” she asked.

“He’s engaged now.” The words flew out of my mouth. “She’s only twenty-seven.”

“I’m sure that must be confusing.”

I looked down at my feet, but didn’t answer.

“And your mom? Have you spoken to her about the divorce? How it made you feel?”

I shook my head again.

“So you’ve lost your voice. You’ve bottled everything up inside. And the thing about bottling is that inevitably it must come out again. And if the bottle is shaken just a little, it might explode.”

“Mmmm,” I mumbled. I knew what she meant. Because sometimes it did feel like I was on the verge of some kind of explosion.

“You have such a powerful voice, Lori,” she said, but I shook my head. This couldn’t be further from reality. “You do, you just haven’t realized it yet.” And then she smiled. Strange and conspiratorial. “By the way, did you see that artwork that everyone is talking about? The succulents?”

“Oh. You know?” I said.

Her smile broadened. “Ag, I suspected. But now I know.”

I felt my cheeks blush again and then smiled a little to myself.

“You’re a real artist, Lori. You see beauty in things that other people don’t.” She walked up to me and then placed her big hands on my shoulders. I was taken aback by the move; none of my other therapists had ever touched me. But it felt comforting and reassuring. “And now, we just need you to see that same beauty in yourself.” She squeezed my shoulders. “Homework for next session, bring me that list of the things you like about yourself! I need to see it.”

I nodded at her. “I will.”

“And use your voice!” she shouted after me as I left.

28

Things I Like about Myself by Lori Palmer

I’m a good sister.

I’m a real artist.