The silence in her head dissipated gradually and she could hear faint shouts and moans. She flexed her arms, ready to stand up. It was high time to get the people who had sought shelter in the refugee camps over the border into Jordan.

Úrsúla was woken by the hammering of her own heartbeat. She was on the sofa at home in Reykjavík. There was a cartoon playing on the TV that had no doubt been put on for the children, who had woken ridiculously early. With a deep sigh, for a moment she wished she could be back in Syria, to the second after the explosion, when she had sensed the life force surge through her veins and felt that there was some reason for her existence. That was 23when she felt that she had a purpose, even a calling. She carried with her a responsibility to get living people – those who were frightened, hurt and in need – to shelter.

Now she wasn’t sure whether she had been asleep or having a vivid daydream, as if her thoughts had sought out memories that might kick-start her dormant emotions, exercising and stretching them back into life. Kátur crawled on his belly off her feet, where he had been curled in a ball, and along the length of her body until his damp, cold nose lay at her throat and she could feel his breath on her cheek. It was as if the dog sensed her thoughts. The love he always had for her never failed to melt her heart. Her affection for him was bound up with certainty and comfort. If she could love this bundle of fur, then surely she still had the capacity to love her own offspring.

Úrsúla sat up and shook off her own self-indulgence. Kátur watched her, waiting for a signal. If she were to get up, he would greet her as if she had just come through the door, then run to the back door – his way of telling her that he wanted to be let outside to pee. She would stand in the doorway, taking lungfuls of cold Icelandic outdoor air before brewing coffee and getting herself ready for the day ahead. She needed to go through a whole stack of documents, bring herself up to speed with the rules and regulations that applied to foreigners, and work out a job list for the coming week. It was clear that not much of her time would be her own, so she needed to make good use of the hours she had.

9

His expectations had created his disappointment. If he hadn’t so clearly envisaged himself doing his dream job, then he wouldn’t be so frustrated now. Although Gunnar understood the principles of Buddhism and tried to devote himself to them through meditation and the solutions that this offered, he still struggled to come 24to terms with the train of thought that said it would be better for him to accept right away that the bowl was cracked – that his dream job had been lost and that his life was already over.