Violet is still pretty much ignoring me and Jordyn is being awful. I’m not sure how she figured out my locker combo, but I’ll come walking down the hallway and find all the stuff in my locker thrown on the ground and people don’t just walk around the pile. They walk on top of everything. My coat has footprints on it and someone crushed my calculator. Like I said, I’m not sure how Jordyn got my combination but I’m sure she’s the one who’s dumping my stuff on the ground.

I kind of wonder if Gabe might have been the one to tell Jordyn my locker combo. I only told him it that one time he helped me open my locker but he’s seen me open it a ton of times since. He’s been acting weird to me, too. He doesn’t talk to me at lunch anymore and only says hi to me if I say it first.

I almost don’t care anymore. If Jordyn and Gabe think I’m such an awful person (I know, I am), then I don’t want to be friends with them. At least I have Joseph. I wake up at 1:15 in the morning on the dot and sneak down to the computer hoping to find a message from him.

I’ve even started wearing makeup. But only at school. My mom didn’t let Kendall wear makeup until she was fourteen and even then it was only mascara and lip gloss. I stole a tube of mascara and some eyeliner out of Kendall’s bathroom and put it on once I get to school. I don’t know why. I guess it makes me feel older.

The other day, after I put my makeup on and was coming out of the girls’ bathroom at school, Mr. Dover was there. He looked at me kind of funny and later he said, “Wow, Cora, you’re looking all grown up.” I have to admit that made me feel kind of good and bad at the same time. He’s my teacher. He’s not supposed to say things like that, right?

I asked Joseph if he liked it that I started wearing makeup and he told me that he thought I was beautiful, with or without the makeup, and that made me smile for the first time in a long time. Then he asked me what color bra I was wearing. I didn’t know what to say. But then he wrote, Just kidding. I don’t know. It’s hard to tell when he’s joking and when he’s being serious. I know I’m doing something wrong by talking to him, but I don’t want to stop.

Text Message Exchange Between Jordyn Petit And Violet Crow

Text Message Exchange
Between Jordyn Petit and Violet Crow

Thursday, December 21, 2017