as if i didn’t fight this hard for today

yesterday.

as if i didn’t break every bone in my body

bending and molding

to fit inside places

i probably shouldn’t have been in.

haven’t we all

had our last straw?

questions to a higher power

trying to figure out what went wrong

i know you know what it feels like to not be able

to breathe

to speak

to feel

i know what hands clenched to the chest

from crying all night feels like

and i think you do too

- normal

a lot of people

think

it’s a choice

to be dark

as if sadness were a gift

as if feeling empty

made us whole.

sometimes

we just want someone

to be still.

to understand our stories

to find us in the dark

and choose

to love us out of it.

there is

love

out here for me.

everything BLACK

there is

n o t h i n g

more powerful than us

black kings and queens

we

are the only ones acting like there is

to see

people

develop so much love

to be everything like us

but

the color of our skins

- the power of melanin gods

there are people out here

who would rather see you

hurt

struggling

and suffering

leave them where they are

and say

nothing.

we

are worth much more

than t-shirts

headlines

street names

and

#hashtags

i need more people

who look like me

to make it!

no

i didn’t have to stand around

and watch someone i love

dangle from a tree

to know there are people out here

that still think

we

are disposable

i

won’t ever apologize

to the people who don’t know my struggle

they will never endure my pain.

they do not understand my journey

but they will always be able to hear about it

as long as

i am

able to write about it.

as if killing us off isn’t killing us internally

as if

walking around trying to make it back home

isn’t a mission

as if coming outside

wanting

to go outside

isn’t a mission.

and they thought

letting you out

meant you had justice

as if

that ever

gave you peace

- Kalief Browder

we

have the right to remain silent

but God forbid we speak.

i just want to live in a world

that i’m not afraid

to be alive in.

there isn’t anything redeemable

about hate

but

how powerful we must be

to have it remain infinite for us.

be brave

be bold

and

remain beautiful

no matter how bad you feel

our time isn’t coming

it’s already here.

save yourself

there is

nothing more complicated

than not knowing what you want

and

accepting everything else

that just doesn’t seem worth it

- meantime

you

are not here to be

everything

for someone else

and

nothing

for self.

blessings mean more to some

than praying does

either way

i’m thankful

- priorities

we’ve been given

the tools

the spells

and the power