Ouch, why does that hurt so much? Is it the confirmation that he could’ve at any time looked me up, did he ever? Does he know how I lived house to house, hoping the next wouldn’t be worse than the last. Does he know? I have to ask. “Did you know I had no one, that I was lost? Alone?”

He rolls both his lips in, eyes closed, shaking his head. “No baby, I had no idea!” Oh God, I think that’s worse, now I know he never even bothered to look. My hand rubs small circles over my heart. I need this done, I can’t take much more.

“Yeah okay, it was a long time ago, so is there anything else you need? I should really be getting home.”

He reaches over and grabs my hand, holding it between both of his. I’m so confused. I don’t want him to touch me, but I don’t want him to not touch me either.

“Please, let me explain. If you need some time after that, then... we’ll see. I don’t know if I can leave you alone, but we’ll figure something out.”

When I blink, tears fall. “If you can leave me alone? Does that mean I have to leave, find a new school, and new house? Will I be allowed into another pack? Will they know why you made me leave?” My voice cracks. Shit, when did I start to ramble so bad? I’m so busy wondering about the what-ifs I don’t realize he’s moved. I’m scooped up in his arms, and he walks to the side of his porch carrying me. I’m so shocked I let him. It feels nice to be held. He sits on a large swing and rocks us. His forehead rests on the top of my head, rolling it back and forth.

“Please, don’t cry, baby. I’ll fix this, but please don’t cry.” He pulls me closer and begins talking. “That night, as you call it, my life changed. I had been Alpha for a few years. I thought I was in love with Roxa—”

“Please,” I beg. “I don’t want to hear this, please.” I’m tempted to cover my ears like a child.

“Shhh, it’s not what you think, listen. We had gone to another territory. I can’t even remember why, probably to accept a challenge, but my Beta and a few friends tagged along. When we drove through Kentucky, I decided to stop for the night, go to a pub, relax before finishing the drive home. As soon as we made it to the pub, I was anxious, just felt off. When we were leaving, I ran into you.” He squeezes me closer. “I’d never seen anything more beautiful until today when I look at you now.” He strokes my cheek. “When I realized you were my Mate, I didn’t know what to do. I knew you were young and hadn’t even shifted yet. I’ve never to this day heard of finding a Mate before their first shift. I didn’t know if you knew who or what I was to you.” He stops for a moment like he’s gathering strength.