“I was handling it.”

“Masen, it’s my house. It involves me. Don’t you think I have the right to know?”

“I know it’s your old house. What difference does you knowing make? I was trying to protect you.” He’s getting agitated.

“You’re right me knowing doesn’t make a difference, but I still wanted to know. I’m not a baby, and that’s exactly how you treated me. Do you know how embarrassing it was to have you yell at me like an errant child in front of your men. Even when I thought you rejected me, I didn’t scream at you. When you were a jerk about my virginity, I was still worried about how you felt, but you belittle me in front of all those people over something I couldn’t control or because I asked a question. Not to mention, how much it hurts me that you can even treat me like that.” My voice cracks, but I keep my composure.

“How are you blocking me?” There’s an accusation along with that question.

“My thoughts are my own,” I state firmly. At least, I know it works. What I really want to say is you don’t deserve my thoughts right now. I would rather he think I’m angry than know how hurt I really am.

His elbows fall to his knees, and he drops his head into his hands, raking through his hair in frustration. “Look, I know I was a dick. I’m sorry, but whatever you’re doing, please stop it!”

“Masen, we both have a lot to learn about each other. But, I’ll tell you now, I’m not an agree to disagree person. Everything I’ve said to you is a valid point to me. Yet, you think your generalized apology and ignoring everything I said is enough? I may not always agree with you, but I promise to always not only listen to you but hear you. Then, we may agree to disagree but not when I know you haven’t heard a word I’ve said. I don’t think I can handle much more of this conversation without getting upset. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to be alone for a bit.” I want to cry and rip my own hair out.

Masen’s fist slams onto the table. “No, it’s not okay. I feel hollow. I can’t even think clearly. Fix it!” His eyes plead with me.

“Masen, I am not doing it to punish you. I’m doing it to protect myself!” I shout.

His face crumples, white-blue eyes sad. “From me,” he whispers.

I’m breathing heavy. I close my eyes and take a few moments to calm myself. “Yes, from you. I don’t know how one wrong look, one wrong word from you, and I’m a wreck. This is not me. I feel weak. I just can’t seem to find my north.”

His frown deepens. “Baby, I wanna be your north.”

I shake my head sadly. “You can’t be my north when I never know what direction you’re headed.”