What bothers her most is how I treated her. I didn’t love her, that’s what she thinks anyway. She doesn’t understand that when time passes, and she comes to know her body better and trust me more she’ll love the things we’ll do to each other. She’ll know every touch I deliver to her comes from love. I wasn’t mad at her or angry, It was just too much, too soon for us to play that hard. Regardless, I was too rough. Her little body should never look like a road map of my lust.

“Listen, baby. I know what you’re thinking. I can literally hear your thoughts. None if this is your fault! That’s not what I need when we make love, things got out of hand. I took things too far, too soon. I love you and believe me, I was much more satisfied the other times we’ve made love.” At that, her face crumples, now she really thinks she is a disappointment. “No, no. Fuck, everything I say comes out wrong. That’s not what I meant. Of course, I enjoyed it, but I love it when you enjoy it. You understand? I felt how you felt afterward, and that wasn’t good.” I rub my head vigorously and clear my throat. “When you’re ready, I’ll show you I can and will still make love to you, that I love taking care of you.”

Her eyes widen, she looks appalled. She thinks I want her right now. “Good God, not right now, fuck me. I think I’ve lost the ability to speak like a normal person and convey my thoughts rationally.” I shake my head. I need her to shift. I can’t keep looking at my damage to her body. I need her to understand now that I can fix this. “I fucked up. I’m sorry. I love you. I will continue to love you. I will never hurt you physically, again. I am a fucking asshole. Everything is the same, eventually, you will see I wasn’t rough because I didn’t love you. I was so rough because I love you so much. I know that’s hard to understand because all of this is so new to you. It’s true. I promise. Now, I need you to shift. I can’t keep looking at you.” Her face pinches, she’s trying not to cry. What? Has she been listening? She seems to be understanding what I was saying. Where did I go wrong? I slam my palms to my face. “I can’t keep looking at the damage I’ve caused your body, Little One. I love looking at you!” I rush to say. I’m such a fucking idiot.

Finally, she starts looking at me. “Masen.” When she says my name, it never fails to make my whole body light up. Her sweet southern drawl rounding out the sounds like honey.

“Yeah, baby?” My voice is thick.

“I can’t let you take all the blame, so stop. I was being childish. I thought I was ready for… that, and obviously, I’m not.” She shakes her head. “Now that I’m awake and we’ve talked, I get it. And Masen, I know you weren’t trying to hurt me. So, quit torturing yourself. I was the one trying to prove a point to someone who has no business in our lives, let alone our bedroom.” Her voice is quiet. She’s embarrassed. I’m in awe of her eloquence and her generous nature.