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Back Because She Loves Me Save as PDF
Chapters (50)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Page
  3. Dedication Page
  4. Contents
  5. One
  6. Two
  7. Three
  8. Four
  9. Five
  10. Six
  11. Seven
  12. Eight
  13. Nine
  14. Ten
  15. Eleven
  16. Twelve
  17. Thirteen
  18. Fourteen
  19. Fifteen
  20. Sixteen
  21. Seventeen
  22. Eighteen
  23. Ninteen
  24. Twenty
  25. Twenty-one
  26. Twenty-two
  27. Twenty-three
  28. Twenty-four
  29. Twenty-five
  30. Twenty-six
  31. Twenty-seven
  32. Twenty-eight
  33. Twenty-nine
  34. Thirty
  35. Thirty-one
  36. Thirty-two
  37. Thirty-three
  38. Thirty-four
  39. Thirty-five
  40. Thirty-six
  41. Thirty-seven
  42. Thirty-eight
  43. Thirty-nine
  44. Forty
  45. Forty-one
  46. Forty-two
  47. Epilogue
  48. Letter From the Author
  49. Acknowledgements
  50. About the Author

I hauled myself up and, back on my crutches, made my way into the bathroom. There it was, right at the back of the cabinet: the little brown bottle with codeine printed on the label.

I tipped a couple onto my palm. They looked different to the ones I’d got from the hospital. Yellow and white capsules as opposed to the little white tablets I’d been taking. I downed one, thought about it, then added the second.

I went back to the computer. I was sick of being cooped up. If I don’t get out of here soon, I thought, I’m going to lose my mind. I was in that state where I was so bored that I couldn’t make myself do anything to relieve the boredom. I wanted some chocolate, a cigarette, a drink, a wank – anything to take my mind off the crushing tedium of my daytime existence.

Instead, I browsed the web, clicking listlessly from page to page, bored but unable to stop.

I was scrolling through a list of ‘21 kangaroos having a bad day’ when I started to feel sleepy. My eyes were heavy. My whole body felt leaden. I checked the time. Four o’clock. Could I squeeze in a nap before Charlie got back?

No, I should try to stay awake. Napping during the day almost always made me feel groggier than if I fought through it.

Temporarily giving up on the holiday idea, I went onto Facebook. I decided to look at Sasha’s page, to see if she had posted anything interesting since the other night. I wanted to contact her but still felt angry and unsure of what to say to her.

Sasha hadn’t written any posts, but an old university friend of ours, Tabby, had posted a link to a story about students on our course. I read it, and then, curious, decided to see what Tabby had been up to recently. But I couldn’t see anything on her timeline. She had unfriended me.

Another one! I went through to my list of friends. I was pretty sure I’d had about 250 friends last time I’d looked. Now it was down to 210. OK, so the numbers fluctuated all the time, but to lose forty friends in a month? That was worse than careless. What had I done? I tried to remember if I’d posted anything that might be deemed offensive or controversial. No, I hadn’t. In fact, I’d barely been on Facebook since meeting Charlie. That must be it, I decided, feeling that heavy weariness sweep over me again. My friends were bored with my lack of updates and were culling me.