Chapters (50)
- Title Page
- Copyright Page
- Dedication Page
- Contents
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Ninteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-one
- Twenty-two
- Twenty-three
- Twenty-four
- Twenty-five
- Twenty-six
- Twenty-seven
- Twenty-eight
- Twenty-nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-one
- Thirty-two
- Thirty-three
- Thirty-four
- Thirty-five
- Thirty-six
- Thirty-seven
- Thirty-eight
- Thirty-nine
- Forty
- Forty-one
- Forty-two
- Epilogue
- Letter From the Author
- Acknowledgements
- About the Author
She calmed down. ‘OK. But, listen. Yes, I have been depressed. It happens. It’s not something you can fix with a day out, but it’s not a huge deal. I cope. I have medication which makes me feel better and I’ve actually been feeling pretty bright since Christmas. Looking forward to a new year.’ She gazed into the crowd. ‘And I really appreciate you trying to cheer me up. It’s been a brilliant day and, despite being a bit useless when it comes to emotional stuff, you are a good brother, OK? Now give me a hug.’
I stooped to embrace her.
‘I’m sorry,’ I whispered.
‘You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. But you can’t fix me. You just have to be there for me.’
When I straightened up I saw Charlie standing a few metres away, watching us, a serious expression on her face. When she realised I’d seen her she came over.
‘I’d better be getting back,’ Tilly said.
We got a cab to Victoria and Charlie and I waited on the platform with my sister.
‘Please don’t sack Rachel,’ I said. ‘She cares about you.’
‘Don’t fret. I won’t.’ She looked up at Charlie, who was holding on to my arm. ‘Be good to my brother. He can be an idiot but he deserves to be happy.’
I expected Charlie to crack a joke but her response was earnest.
‘I’m going to make him happy,’ she said. ‘Don’t you worry about that.’
Six
Six
Hiya. Haven’t heard from you since Xmas. You OK? Been trying to call. Can we meet up? I need to see you. Call me! S Xx
Charlie and I were in bed, again. Since our day out with Tilly we’d barely left the flat, only popping out to buy takeaways and wine, along with condoms and candles, which Charlie had insisted on for the bedroom. She’d bought scented bath oil too and some new pink-and-black underwear that had a Viagra-like effect on me. A couple of times, she’d popped back to hers to get clothes, check her post and so on, and I’d made a few solo trips to the off licence when it was raining outside, leaving Charlie snuggled on the sofa watching reruns of Sex and the City.
I felt drunk. When I closed my eyes, Charlie’s face or body – her pierced belly button winking in the candlelight, the mermaid tattoo, the little chains of freckles that dotted her flesh – would swim into my vision. My jaw ached from grinning so much. My muscles and skin felt alive in a way they never had before.