So I was immediately on guard when talking about her with Charlie, though the alternative would have been hiding that I was going to meet her. I didn’t want to lie to Charlie about anything.

‘It was all in the past,’ I said. ‘You don’t have anything to worry about.’

Charlie glanced at me. ‘When people say that, it usually means you do have something to worry about.’

‘But you don’t,’ I said, somewhat lamely. I didn’t know what else to say.

‘Is she very beautiful?’ she asked, turning back to her reflection and returning to the task of applying her make-up.

‘No. Nothing like you.’

‘Not even pretty, like your cleaner?’

I sighed. ‘Don’t start that again, please.’

‘I’m only joking.’ A moment later, she shouted, ‘Fuck! Why can’t I get this eyeliner to go on straight?’

She marched into the bathroom, leaving tension crackling in the air. I sipped my coffee and wished I’d never agreed to do this work for Karen. If Charlie and I ever split up – the thought of which filled my stomach with ice – I would never tell any future girlfriends about Karen.

‘And after seeing Karen, you’re meeting Sasha,’ she said when she returned.

‘Yes.’

‘OK. Well, there’s a drinks thing on after work today. I’ll probably go to that.’

I got up to leave, kissing her goodbye.

‘Have fun,’ I said.

‘Hmm,’ she replied.

Sasha and I had a few drinks in an expensive bar in Farringdon before heading back on the train to Herne Hill, where Sasha had been invited to a housewarming party.

Sasha looked tired, with puffy eyes and the same greasy marks on her glasses that I’d noticed before. I wanted to take them off her and squirt them with washing-up liquid.

‘How are you feeling?’ I asked, as we walked up the road to the party. I had already told her about the work I was going to do for Wowcom and she had, to my relief, been delighted, especially if it meant I would be visiting her office occasionally.

‘I’m all right,’ she said brightly. A pause. ‘Actually, I feel like shit. I know he’s a come stain on the duvet of society—’

‘Nicely put.’

‘Thank you. But I was also kind of, you know, in love with him.’

‘Poor Sash,’ I said. ‘Love. It fucks you up.’

‘It sure does. Especially when the recipient of your love is married to a psychopath.’

I thought it was a little unfair of Sasha to direct her ire towards Lance’s wife. Mae was, after all, the injured party in all this. But I was Sasha’s best friend and it wasn’t my place to take anyone’s side but hers.

‘But you’re all loved up with Charlie, aren’t you? You look like the cat who got the keys to the aviary. When I am going to meet this goddess?’