And then he’s gone, the door closing in my face. I stand alone in the corridor, trying to analyse what I’m feeling at this moment. I can’t. I wonder whether this is what my men feel like when I kick them out.

“Don’t be so ridiculous,” I say softly.

There’s no one to hear me, and I doubt I’m even listening to myself. It’s a rare and not pleasant feeling.

Chapter Ten

Laurie

Standing outside Mags’s door, I inhale deeply through my nose and then slowly exhale through my mouth. Feeling slightly calmer, I raise my hand and knock on his door.

I bite my lip as I wait. I haven’t seen him since the sauna, which was two days ago. I’ve been painting, but honesty compels me to admit I’ve been avoiding him mostly due to the sheer hotness of our encounter in the shower. I’d reacted like a scared roadrunner, zipping a hundred miles in the opposite direction.

I’ve had a lot of sex over the years, but nothing quite rivalled that. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because Mags is one of the most attractive men I’ve ever met. Being in his presence is like standing at the top of a ski run and inhaling pure oxygen. He’s scarily intelligent and challenges me every second I’m with him—a rarity, as my mind usually drifts to my work at the slightest opportunity.

Maybe one of the reasons why I find Mags so hot is that I came to know him as a friend before sex got involved. That makes him a unique fixture in my life. I tease Mags about his twinks, but I’ve hardly got any room to talk. All my relationships—even the ones that lasted a few months—have been casual in every sense of the word. Sometimes I’d tried harder, wanting to convince myself I could hold down a relationship, but every failure cemented my decision to be alone.

I like being alone. I like the freedom to paint all day without someone sulking and huffing. I like being able to eat dinner at one in the morning if I want to and to hear nothing but silent peace around me. Sex has been a release for me—and nothing else—until two days ago.

I hear footsteps and straighten up. Get over it, I remind myself. I don’t need a bad dose of feelings at this precise point in my life. That would be excruciatingly lousy timing.