I swallow hard. “Why not? You appear to have all the answers.”

“You’ll hang around with me until caring for the blind man becomes inconvenient, or the next pretty twink crosses your path. And then you’ll be gone faster than a bullet.”

“And you know that, how?”

“Because you’ve told me.”

“I have never said that,” I flare.

“Every word and every action you make shows me a man who hates responsibility in his personal life.” He gestures angrily, talking over me, his words tumbled and unconsidered. “You don’t want a dependent lover. You want freedom. You make a virtue out of superficiality. You’d be like a shark in a paddling pool, and I’d be constantly waiting for the moment you chewed your way out.”

He stops, breathing heavily and looking wild.

Some part of me knows that I shouldn’t take his words to heart. This is the first time he’s spoken about his condition, and it’s only because I’ve forced him. I’ve pressed where I shouldn’t. I can tell from his face that he’s heartsick and worried. But that doesn’t stop his words from hurting like he’s run a sword through my heart, and I rub my chest again.

“You know, Laurie, I always knew you were honest, but I never thought you’d be cruel,” I say softly.

The anger and wildness drain from his expression, and is immediately replaced with regret. “Mags,” he says. “Oh God, I’m so sorry.”

I step back as he reaches out for me. “It’s fine,” I say, pulling my armour around me. It seems to take longer than usual, and I curse him because that’s his fault too. He’s opened me up and exposed all my nerves and then grabbed and twisted them until it hurts. I make myself look at him. His eyes are glistening wetly.

“Please, Mags,” he whispers, stepping towards me. “Please. I need to say—”

“You don’t need to say anything,” I say softly. “You’ve made your opinion very clear about me. I thought you knew me, but obviously not if that is the way you see me.” I go to the door, hearing his halting breaths and pause. “If you had told me, I would have been there for you. Not from pity, but because I thought you were my friend.” I fist my hands at my sides. “I thought we were more, and that’s my fault, Laurie. Be well. Please do something about this. Don’t leave it.”

I leave him standing alone in the flat. But that’s the way he prefers it.

Chapter Sixteen

Two Days Later

Mags