I make myself step back. It’s harder than I anticipated, and something tells me I might regret letting him keep his secrets.

“Hurry up,” I say. “We can get some dinner while we’re out.”

Out of his sight, I close my eyes and blow out a long breath. He’s going, and I won’t see him again. It’s strange because a part of me is glad. I’m happy I will no longer have this mess of feelings in my chest for someone. When he’s gone, I can return to a life where I never felt bewildered and overcome and like someone from an Austen novel.

Unfortunately, the rest of me is reeling at the thought of not seeing him every day. I won’t be able to roll over and find him lying there or see his limpid eyes and wicked grin. I’ll no longer be challenged and nudged until I do something ridiculous just to see him smile.

“Ack, this is fucking terrible.” I sigh.

“What?” he says, coming out of his room. “Did you say something?”

“I said I’m hungry,” I say after the beat of silence lasts too long. “And Endof wants a walk.”

“Well, we can’t disappoint Endof,” he says solemnly. “Let’s go to St James Park.”

“Why there?”

He grabs his wallet and slides it into his back pocket. “There are some things I want to see.”

“Oh, your list. Have you added to it while I’ve been away?”

He nods. “I went to Shoreditch the other day to see the street art. It was amazing. And then this morning, I went to Leighton House.”

“What is there?”

“Oh, Mags, it’s beautiful. Frederick, Lord Leighton built it to house his art collection. He was the president of the Royal Academy. It’s so lush. The colours make it feel like you’re sitting in a kaleidoscope.”

He continues to talk in the taxi, telling me about a café that had once been a public toilet and had a beautiful wrought-iron entrance. I listen to him, smiling in all the right places but unable to push away the absurd possessiveness that’s seized me and makes me hate the fact that I wasn’t with him when he crossed those items off his ridiculous list. And all the time, my mind beats to the sound of the words, He’s going soon.

Twilight is upon us by the time we stand outside the gates to the park. The streets of London are dusty and teeming with Londoners and tourists moving about to find places for dinner or to sit in pubs and fill the air with noisy chatter. I love the business and grime of the city in the summer. It has a dirty sort of charm to it.