“Don’t be sorry. I know exactly how it feels to be let down by Cliff, and that’s what has happened to you. And I know how it feels to take the blame, to assume it’s you, that it must be something you did or didn’t do, but that isn’t true.” Joanna’s voice shook. “You feel that way because you’re a person who takes responsibility for her actions, but the responsibility in this case is not yours.”

It was the first time Ashley had heard Joanna express this much emotion.

“You’re speaking from experience.”

“Yes. And that’s why I’m telling you to put the blame where it belongs—squarely on him. If you’re going to be upset, be upset about the decisions he made, not the decisions you made.”

Ashley scrubbed at her face with her palm. “Do you think I’m upsetting the baby?”

“I think babies are tougher than that.” Joanna handed her a tissue. “Which is a good thing, because life requires you to be resilient. And you’re certainly that. Resilient and brave.”

“I don’t feel brave.” Ashley blew her nose hard. “I don’t feel brave at all.”

“Ashley, you climbed into Cliff’s car so that you could force him to account for his behavior. That’s brave. And the way you’ve conducted yourself since—in the hospital and with me—I think you’re incredible. The accident itself would have been enough to traumatize most people. You must have been terrified.”

“I don’t remember much. I remember a spinning feeling. I didn’t know which way was up. My body was rattled and bashed. There was pain, and then it stopped and I lay there and realized I was still alive. And I was terrified the car was going to catch fire or something, because that’s what happens in the movies. And then I looked at Cliff—” it was something she’d tried to block out, the sight of it “—and I knew he was dead.” She felt Joanna’s hand close over hers and wondered if she should stop talking. She knew she should probably tug her hand away because this was Cliff’s wife and if it was hard for Ashley to think about how much harder must it be for her to hear about it, but she needed the comfort that was being offered.

“And then you were taken to the hospital.”

“And they asked me a ton of questions, of course. I didn’t want to tell them why I was in the car with Cliff. I didn’t want it to come out that I was his daughter because it was too late for that to do any good, so I just said nothing and they assumed I was—” She shrugged. “I don’t know. All this happened because I got into his car. That was stupid.”