It made her feel sick to think of it. Her father. Her hands were sweaty now. Shaking and sweaty. “And he drove fast up into the hills, and I kept wanting him to recognize me, and know who I was, but he didn’t. And I realized that getting into that car was a mistake, and I wanted to get it over with so I blurted it out. I said, I’m your daughter, and he took his eyes off the road and stared at me for moment. It was just a few seconds, that’s all, but we were near a bend and—” the memory came rushing at her like the road had “—I screamed. He tried to get control of the car but it was too late and I knew we were going over the edge and I just closed my eyes and got ready to die. And it was my fault. It was all my fault. If I hadn’t told him that—”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Joanna took the glass from her before she could spill the contents. “You told him nothing he didn’t already know.”

“But he didn’t know it was me. He’d done everything he could to avoid seeing me, or even talking to me.” And she had no words to describe how that had made her feel. “I forced him to confront it. And we didn’t even have a chance to talk at all, because the accident happened and I knew he was dead. And I as good as killed him.” The guilt she’d been holding inside poured out of her, along with all the trauma of the past few weeks. She felt the hot sting of tears and this time she couldn’t hold them back. She covered her face with her hands. “He’s dead because of me. And to be honest I hated him by the time I got into the car. I hated him for the way he treated my mother, for the way he treated me, and if I’d known you then I would have hated him for the way he treated you, too—but I didn’t want him to die.”

“Of course you didn’t.”

“I feel so bad.” She felt Joanna’s arms come around her and then she was being hugged in a way she hadn’t been hugged in months, since before her mother had died.

“It’s not your fault.” Joanna held her, stroked her hair, repeated those words again and again—not your fault—and Ashley sobbed into her shoulder and cried until there was nothing left inside her.

Finally she eased away, embarrassed. “Sorry...”