Chapter 39

It’s no good. I can’t do it. Can’t lie here in bed, in the dark, knowing what I’ve done, pretending everything is all right, that none of it matters. This wasn’t the plan. Not that I had one really, but whatever I had expected to do, wanted to do, dreamed of doing, it was all about her. It was meant for her. Not the young girl. Why did she have to get in the way?

Her visitors are leaving, banging and crashing bags on the stairs. Aaron is down in the hall, going out for a walk, stopping them to ask after the girl, asking how she is, asking if he can visit. So many questions. I can’t even hear the answers, hard as I try. I assume she must still be alive, and I am glad, relieved, but beyond that who knows? Bangs on the head can be tricky things. There will be consequences.

It’s only a matter of time before the police come back and then there will be even more questions. Don’t they know that I have questions too? All the whens and wheres and whys. It was all so long ago, of course, losing him so suddenly, that feeling that my heart might actually break into a million pieces, but I had come to terms with it all, put it behind me, moved on. And then there was her. And she was here, and had been all along, here within reach …

I pick up the phone. Call for a taxi. I have to get out of here before they come. I don’t want them to take me. I want to leave under my own steam. I may not have had much say in what happened to me in life, but I want to write my own ending.

Chapter 40

PRUE

‘Everything’s packed up and in the car, so we can drive you back home as soon as the doctors say you can go.’

Prue managed a weak smile. ‘Thanks, Mum.’ She pushed her lunch around on its plate. Twelve o’clock felt much too early to be eating lunch but hospital routines had to be stuck to.

‘I can go and find you a sandwich from the shop if you prefer,’ her dad said, turning his nose up at the pale dollop of mush that was supposed to be macaroni cheese. ‘And some chocolate?’

‘No, I’m okay. I’m not even hungry really.’

‘You have to eat something, Prudence, to keep your strength up.’ Her mum only ever called her Prudence when she was in strict dishing-out-orders mode, and this was one of those occasions.

Prue pushed a forkful into her mouth, more so she wouldn’t have to talk than anything else. Home. She didn’t really want to go back to Shelling, but there was little choice. Madi had reclaimed her flat, and it was clear Prue would need some help looking after herself over the next week or so as her bruising and burns started to recover. But there was so much left unfinished here …