If she lives, tell her I am sorry. I wish I could have seen her garden, sat in it in the sun, seen out my days in peace, surrounded by roses. But now I never will.

I hate you, Madalyn Cardew, even now. And that bastard son of yours, the one I used to see running up and down the stairs from time to time, playing in the hall, holding your hand. I had no idea then who you were, or who he was. That Jeremy had given you a child, the one thing I craved above all else. My own child was stripped from me before it had a chance. That pregnancy was the beginning of the end, as far as Jeremy was concerned. I didn’t have your determination, your willpower, your fight. Two hundred pounds he paid to have it taken from me. And abortion was not a pretty thing, not an easy thing, not back then. Never is, I suppose. I gave in too easily, to please him. To keep him. It didn’t work, did it? I let my baby go, and I never had another.

This is what love does to a person. It takes away your sense of self, your reason, your soul. It breaks not only the heart and the mind but everything else in between. And yet, I would not have been without it. Its memory keeps me warm.

At least now I will be with him again. My Jeremy. The love of my life. And maybe with my baby too. I am not a religious woman, as I have said, so I don’t know if I really believe that, but there is nothing left to me now but hope.

I have a niece, Sandra, who lives in Canada. Nobody else. Give whatever I have to her. And a quiet cremation please. No ceremony. No flowers. I do not deserve them.

Believe me, I am sorry. I don’t quite know what I wanted to happen but it was never this.

Emily Parker

Chapter 43

PRUE

Three months later

‘This long-distance-dating thing is a bummer.’ Simon sneaked a kiss while nobody seemed to be looking.

Prue laughed. ‘Not for much longer. I’ll be back here properly in September.’

‘Ah, but you’ll be so wrapped up in your uni course, not to mention all those intelligent creative types you’ll be mixing with. Will you still have time for me?’

She squeezed his hand. ‘I’ll make time.’

‘Ah, so this is where you’ve got to.’ Madi was making her way across the grass towards them, balancing drinks on a tray. She handed them each a glass of wine, kept hold of one for herself and put the empty tray down on the ground, gesturing for them to budge up a bit so she could join them on the shiny new bench beneath the tree.

‘You’ve done a wonderful job, Simon. And Aaron too, of course. The furniture, the paths, and now that all the plants are in, it looks really lovely.’