It gets worse. BookshopGirl tells me the whole story: apparently, this was something her mom did a lot, chasing some guy, forgetting she had daughters to care for. In this case, she was dating an asshole who got fed up with the fact that BSG’s mom was “distracted” caring for her injured daughter. So her mom left, leaving her young, wheelchair-bound daughter home alone.

BSG went home to help her sister, which doesn’t surprise me at all. What does surprise me is what she tells me next, how she blames herself for the way it affected her schooling.

BookshopGirl: I should have been able to keep up—I was an English major, so all I had to do was read and write. I could do that from anywhere.

RJ.Reads: Except you were overwhelmed and scared. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that your mom took off. You were just a kid yourself.

BookshopGirl: Technically speaking, I was an adult. And I’ve spent my whole life taking care of my sister, so I’m used to that.

BookshopGirl: Anyway, I tried to make it work, but I failed two classes and lost my scholarship.

RJ.Reads: Didn’t anyone at school reach out to you? Try and support you?

BookshopGirl: Yes, but by the time the next semester started, my mom had been dumped by that guy and wasn’t functional even though she was technically home. My sister needed me, so I just…never went back.

BookshopGirl: It’s fine. I’ve had to live with that ever since: the knowledge that I’m the kind of person who gives up.

Shaking my head, I type the words I wish I could say to her in real life:

RJ.Reads: No, you’re the kind of person who sacrificed her future to care for her little sister when no one else would. Your mom failed you. You did not fail. You showed strength and resilience in the face of adversity.

BookshopGirl: My sister is the one who showed strength and resilience. She deals with the effects of that accident every day—and she hasn’t let that stop her.

RJ.Reads: Neither have you! You’ve worked your way up to be the manager of your store. That’s impressive.

BookshopGirl: Right now I’m only managing myself.

RJ.Reads: Doesn’t matter. Bookselling is important work, BSG. I know you know that.

BookshopGirl: Of course I do. But it’s not just the job, you know? It’s about what it represents—a sense of purpose, of accomplishment. Things at work are a little tenuous right now, and if I lose my job? I don’t know what I’ll do.

I understand completely. Interesting that we’re both facing the possibility of losing our jobs—though I suppose that’s probably true for lots of indie booksellers.