BookshopGirl: Do you have another rec for me? I’ve forgotten how relaxing it is to turn your brain off and live in another world.

RJ.Reads: You want something to take you to another world? Hmmm…

RJ.Reads: Have you read The Princess Bride?

BookshopGirl: I’ve seen the movie.

RJ.Reads: The book is always better, but in this case, the book is a GAZILLION times better. I think you’ll get a kick out of a literary device he uses. It’s another won of my brother’s favorite books.

RJ.Reads: *another ONE (sorry)

BookshopGirl: Are you ever going to suggest one of your favorites? The best way to get to know someone is to read their favorite books.

RJ.Reads: Yikes, that’s kind of personal! I need to test the water before being that vulnerable. What if you hate my favorite book? I’ll be forced to cut you out of my life, which would be a real shame.

BookshopGirl: Ah, yes, the literary obligation to hate people who hate your favorite book.

RJ.Reads: The #1 commandment of readers: Thou shalt despise all those who despise thy beloved books, for they show contempt for the treasures of thy heart and the wisdom therein.

I’m grinning as I go through my day; it’s busy, but after a particularly maddening customer, I can’t help sending another message.

BookshopGirl: A customer asked for help finding books for his wife’s birthday—classic “One has a blue cover and the other one starts with M” scenario. I found them! But then…he ordered them online. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

RJ.Reads: NOOOOOO. Why do people do this?

BookshopGirl: RIGHT?? Like, “yes, I will use your mental labor for my benefit and not compensate you in any way.”

RJ.Reads: He clearly doesn’t know that the #2 commandment of readers is “Thou shalt not exploit the goodwill of the independent bookseller only to forsake them for an online mega-store.”

He manages to make me smile again, even though I’m still seething inside.

I needed that sale.

Fortunately, I have an event tonight that should help me take a huge leap ahead in this competition. It’s with someone I’ve admired for years: Kenneth Michael Rutherford, international bestseller, short-listed for the National Book Award for his debut novel, Tell Me No, Tell Me Yes.

His second book came out two days ago, and I—yes, I, Josie Klein of Tabula Inscripta—have booked him for an author event this evening.