“It’s not a lie.” Her voice sounds faraway, like she’s talking to me from the past, not from across the table. “I had that ‘knowing’ moment, it just took me longer.” She sets her fork down and looks up at me, like she just had a literal lightbulb moment. “Love is like swimming in the ocean. And you, my darling—and your father, for that matter—want to cannonball right in. But some people, perhaps like your Josie”—my Josie—“need to dip their toe in the water and ease in. Slowly.”

Great, now I’m thinking about Josie in a bathing suit, a bikini that shows off her curves and her generous tits.

“But she’ll get there, and if she doesn’t—”

“Don’t say there are other fish in the ocean.”

“Fine,” my mom says, cutting into her egg-white omelet. “I won’t. But it’s true, even though I’m holding out hope for the two of you.”

“So am I,” I say.

We’re both quiet for a moment, and the silence is comfortable. Comforting. Maybe you never outgrow needing your mom, I think, and as I do I feel sorry for Josie and her sister, who never got to experience this kind of love.

“If—when Josie comes around, don’t hold the time it took against her,” my mom says. “I know it feels personal, but trust me, it’s got more to do with her than it does with you.”

We spend the rest of the meal covering safer topics: a trip she and my dad have planned, how much everyone loved their party, and of course, the latest accomplishments of my gold-star brothers and their families.

It’s not until I’ve hugged and kissed my mom goodbye that her words sink in.

This isn’t about me.

Josie Klein is one of the most cautious, deliberate people I know. If she feels even a little spark with RJ.Reads, which I know she does, then of course she wants to explore that. So who am I to get in her way?

I pick up my phone and open the BookFriends app, where Josie’s message has been sitting, ignored, for far too long. I take a deep breath and type a response.

RJ.Reads: I’ll be at IBNE. And I’d love to meet you there.

For the rest of the week, Josie is so busy we barely have time to be awkward around each other. I do my best to focus on my store and not what she’s doing on her side. But my best is nowhere near good enough—I’m constantly aware of her.