I’ve done my best to be polite and distant whenever we run into each other at work. But every time I pass him at Beans, or in our now-combined back room, I get a whiff of his scent. And I’m catapulted back to that beach, to his mouth on mine, my hands shaking as I unbuckled his belt.

I keep imagining what would’ve happened if I’d reached out and touched him when we were in bed together. If he would’ve pulled me under him and finished what we started.

Hence the new rule.

I’ve just unlocked the front door of the store and flipped my sign from Closed to Open when my phone chimes.

RJ.Reads: Just thinking about you and wanted to say hello.

I grin, happy to see his message—and grateful for the distraction from my confusing feelings for my former nemesis turned…whatever Ryan is now.

Still my competition, I remind myself. And I might actually be beating him.

Freaking Xander.

BookshopGirl: Hi!

RJ.Reads: You’ll have to let me know when you’re ready for another book rec.

BookshopGirl: Ooh! I’m almost finished with the new Zadie Smith (so good btw) so now would be good. But is it one of YOUR favorites or your brothers’? ☺

BookshopGirl: As reader commandment #3 says, Thou shalt share thy favorite books with thy trusted friends, for in doing so thou art baring thy soul and revealing the essence of thy heart.

I cringe; too much? I’m not exactly the “funny” type, and this was RJ’s joke to begin with.

Then his response appears, and I relax again.

RJ.Reads: Ha! Your right—don’t want to break the commandments. OK here it is: Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld.

BookshopGirl: Read it and loved it! I grew up watching SNL and the behind-the-scenes glimpses were fascinating. And such an insightful evaluation of how conventionally unattractive men can date women “out of their league,” but it rarely happens the other way around.

RJ.Reads: Agree. (Also: *you’re* above, sorry.) And the chemistry and character development—it was my first book by her and I really enjoyed it. (Also also, I’m relieved you liked it! Otherwise I’d never be able to speak to you again.)

BookshopGirl: Oh I’m a huge fan. I’ve read all her books. I cannot WAIT to hear her speak at IBNE. (And please don’t stop talking to me! I’d be miserable.)

RJ.Reads: You’ll be at IBNE? Me too!

Heart sinking, I stare at the screen. The email about the panel selection is supposed to come today, so IBNE is on my mind—but I didn’t mean to let RJ know I’d be there. The thought of running into him sends panic racing through my body.

Fumbling with my phone, I type a quick response.