JONAH

Poppy wanted him to go—

DAPHNA

If that had been me, I would have been calling home, every day, three times a day, at least, to check in and see and— and at the very least, I would have told my Mom where I was going in case of an emergency, which, the pending death of the most important person in your family is like the reason the word emergency was even invented in the first place. The idea that Liam just like flies off to Aspen with Melody and his like $1200 snowboard when his grandfather is dying and drops his phone off a ski lift which is in and of itself a beautiful metaphor for what money means to him—

JONAH

But I don’t mind sleeping on the—

DAPHNA

No Jonah! No. He’ll take the twin. He’ll make some snide— but he’ll take the— because I actually literally can’t take the twin air mattress even if I wanted to because with my back, I actually have to have the extra room— but when he starts making a mockery of shiva my blood is just gonna boil—

JONAH

He’s not going to mock anyth—

DAPHNA

Yes he will! He mocks us any chance he gets. Always has.

JONAH

What are you talking about?

DAPHNA

What am I talking about? Ok. Example. Example? Example. Two years ago at Passover, when he randomly came home, which was totally random and weird, with his last girlfriend, what’s her face—

JONAH

Miyushi.

DAPHNA

Miyushi, right, his Peace Corps whore. God she was atrocious. But so my Dad was reading a passage in Hebrew, which god forbid one does at Passover, and I look up and he’s giving Miyushi this look across the table—

JONAH

What look?

DAPHNA

This look, like, this would be over by now if Jewy McJewerson would shut the fuck up. This look like, “I’m above all this,” like, “you and I are on this spiritual enlightenment plane way above everyone else—”

JONAH

Come on!

DAPHNA

I’m serious. This look he gave her, I’ll never forget it, it stayed with me so strong, and then after seder, our parents had all gone to bed, we were watching TV and Liam was like, “I’m hungry,” even though we’d just had this enormous meal and he went into the kitchen and found these shortbread cookies and even Miyushi was like, “I thought you weren’t supposed to eat that on Passover,” but Liam just smiled, popped a cookie in his mouth and was like, “I’m a bad Jew,” then turned to me even though he knew I was keeping Passover, handed me the bag and goes, “Want one?”

“I’m a bad Jew.”

JONAH

Not everyone cares about it the way you do.

DAPHNA

I’m not asking everyone to! I don’t— I’m not even saying, I’m just saying, I don’t understand why he has to take so much pride in how totally disdainful he is of—

JONAH

He’s not disdainful—

DAPHNA

He is, Jonah! He is. If you choose not to see it, that’s your choice, but the fact remains he looks down on me and looks down on my family—