Contents ( 4)
DAPHNA
I would love to see your profile.
LIAM
I deactivated it.
DAPHNA
Awww. He must really like you.
LIAM
(To MELODY.)
I wish you hadn’t—
MELODY
A lot of people do it. It’s not something to feel embarrassed about. It’s very normal now.
| DAPHNA | |
| It definitely is. I mean, I didn’t meet Gilad online, that’s my boyfriend, he lives in Israel, but like, he’s in the army, but if I wasn’t dating him, I would have no problem going online I do everything else online, why not date? | LIAM Do we have to Gilad right now? |
DAPHNA
It’s very cute, Jonah, Melody says what first earned Liam a place in her heart was his winning smile—
LIAM
What did you tell her?
MELODY
Nothing, just how we—
DAPHNA
Don’t worry Liam. It was all very PG. Well, PG-ish. I mean, she didn’t air any of your dirty laundry. Well, not much of it, right Mellow?
LIAM
Her name’s Melody. Not Mellow. Melody.
DAPHNA
Uhm, I’m pretty sure if Melody has a problem with me calling her Mellow, she can speak for herself—
LIAM
And can you not brush your hair all over everyone’s stuff?
DAPHNA
What?
LIAM
Your hair is going everywhere. It’s really disgusting.
DAPHNA
Uhm …
LIAM
Go in the bathroom if you want to do that? It’s rude.
DAPHNA
It’s rude to brush my hair?
LIAM
Yeah. In the room where we all have to sleep, it’s rude. Public grooming is rude.
DAPHNA
What are you, like a public grooming zealot?
Beat.
Ohhhhhkay. Excuse me while I go in the bathroom to brush my hair. Slicha.
DAPHNA exits to the bathroom. When the door closes, LIAM flies off the handle.
LIAM
She is a fucking cunt.
| MELODY | JONAH |
| Liam! | Whoa. |
LIAM
Fuck!
JONAH
Liam, relax.
LIAM
Stop telling me to relax. You keep telling me to relax like we’re suddenly in Shangri-La. Nothing about this is—
(To MELODY.)
And stop telling her— I specifically asked you not to tell her things about us, so please don’t—
MELODY
I—
LIAM
Just please Melody. Please. You don’t know her, so just trust me, don’t tell her things, you can’t— you can’t give her one detail about even the least significant thing because she’ll take that one microscopic insignificant tiny little morsel of a detail and find a way to spin it in her little web and spit it back at you with so much venom you won’t even know what hit you, and now whatever you—
JONAH
Liam.
LIAM
Jonah.
JONAH
You’re being …
LIAM
What, Jonah? I’m being what, honest? You have a problem with honesty now? This is absurd.
MELODY
What’s absurd?
LIAM
Everything! Your def— and— This situation! Look at us! Look at this room! This room is like my worst nightmare, we’re on top of each other like—
JONAH
We’re not on top of each other.
LIAM
Yes we are. Yes we fucking are! You can’t even move without tripping over a—
LIAM purposely trips over his suitcase.