These verses really hit her where it hurt. Her mother had a right to beat her the way she had, she thought. All she was trying to do was raise her right and she had rebelled. There it was right in front of her in black-and-white, in the Bible. God had decreed it.

After getting no response from Goldie, Tender waited for a while, continuing to watch the madness of Jerry Springer. A fight was about to break out and she didn’t want to miss it. Then something told her to walk back to the bedroom.

“Goldie, what’s up? You aiight? I thought I heard you say something,” Tender said, as she entered the room.

“I was jus’ readin’ da Word,” she answered. “I didn’t realize I was dat loud … umm, Tender, can I ask you somethin’?”

“Yeah, what?” Tender replied.

“You believe in God?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Tender quickly replied. “Why?”

“Why? …” she repeated. “Cause we livin’ a life of sin. What we doin’ is wrong. And I know it and you know it. Ain’t no two ways about it … I can’t take it no more. I want out.”

Tender looked directly into Goldie’s eyes, and what she saw scared her. If it was true that the eyes were the windows to the soul, then Goldie was living in a wrecked building. Her eyes were tired, sad, crazed. Like her spirit had been ripped up.

“Goldie, where all dis come from? What, you been speakin’ to Kat’s sista or somethin’? I neva heard you talk like dis before. What’s gotten into you?”

“I’m gettin’ tired a livin like dis!” Goldie stated. “Dis ain’t livin’. Dis ain’t life … Dis ain’t da life fa me … or you … We need ta get outta here. Before somethin’ else happens. I ain’t tryin’ ta die in dis state. I ain’t tryin’ ta die in a state of sin.”

Goldie came across sincere, but more than a little bit paranoid. Tender thought, This bitch is trippin’. She done lost her fuckin’ mind! Goldie hadn’t deliberately chosen this life. It chose her. She hoped her friend wasn’t going off the deep end.