Raymond    You know from the circuses, Kowalski, you know about hermaphrodites. He was one of them. A commonplace occurrence in certain forms of dwarfism; incomplete or ill-formed sex organs.

Bert    Jesus . . . No wonder the poor little prick wasn’t doing handstands when I told him about those Dutch broads. (To Philomena.) How’d you know about it?

Philomena    He was sad, and I wanted to make him happy . . . (shrugs casually) the way you can make men happy.

Bert looks to Raymond and they raise their eyebrows.

Bert    Jeez, you were right, Ray. (To Philomena.) I really underestimated you all along, Philomena. Poor Charlie. You stole his cash, then tried to suck a dick he didn’t have.

Noise from offstage. The door is being unlocked.

Voice (off)     One of you guys, get your ass out here. We got a proposition t’ make.

Bert and Raymond both make a move. Philomena glares at them both.

Voice (off)     Just one of ya!

They look at each other. Bert nods at Raymond, and stands back.

Bert    You’re the fancy talker. Go ahead. Use your ‘influence’.

Raymond hesitates. Philomena nods at him and he tentatively exits. The door shuts behind him.

Philomena    Where do you think they’re taking him?

Bert    For a nice little fucken stroll down the yellow brick road with Mervyn LeRoy and the head of the cocksucking studio. How the fuck should I know?

Philomena    I only asked.

Bert    It ain’t where they’re takin him that’s the big mystery to me, honey. The big mystery to me is where the hell did you learn to be such a devious little broad?

Philomena    I know I’ve sinned . . . but I’ve had to live that way, as God’s my witness, it was the only way. I was living wild ’til the sisters took me in. I hated it there, I hated those nuns!

Bert    Yeah, it ain’t no fun living with big people. And living with fucked-up broads who ain’t getting their chimneys swept, I can only imagine how much that must stink. (Pause.) Bet they took it out on you, huh, kid?

Philomena    I was like a slave to those twisted, evil bitches. Sure I prayed every night to get out of that place. Then, when I was in town with Sister Bernadette one afternoon, I saw the advertisement for this production in our paper. Mr Singer had put it in. It seemed like the answer to all my prayers. So I stole the money from the convent and I headed out here.

Bert    I can’t blame you for that, kid. But here it’s different; here you gotta look after your own kind.

Philomena    I know I’ve done wrong, Mr Kowalski, but I pray all the time. I always ask for forgiveness for all my sins.