Meagan went to speak.

‘Oh and I’d like him to have really good hair and he has to be spiritual but not a hippy,’ Simi continued.

After thirty minutes of Simi detailing her perfect man, Meagan had lost the will to live and Jemima didn’t look far off. Fourteen tubes had screeched in and out of the station and the platform guard was starting to eye them suspiciously. Meagan didn’t want to rain on Simi’s parade but this wasn’t cosmic ordering, it was wishful thinking and a far cry from Meagan’s meticulously scheduled plan. Hers was grounded in logic not the position of the planets. She’d be married by her mid-thirties, have all her kids by 40 who’d be in uni by her mid-fifties and then she’d be free. She’d travel more, work less and continue to slay in every way possible. Simi should take a leaf out of her book and put that in her bizarre catalogue, thought Meagan.

‘Simi, you’re basically describing Keanu Reeves,’ Jemima said. ‘Maybe just choose a couple of things to get us started.’

Simi scanned her reams of notes. ‘Spiritual – and the Best of album thing.’

‘Got it,’ said Jemima tapping her temple.

‘What about you, Jem?’ Simi asked.

‘No weirdos,’ Jemima said straight away.

They all nodded. That, they could agree on.

‘Oh, frig! I’m late for my monologue class,’ said Simi looking over at the platform clock.

She snapped her book shut and gave the girls a goodbye cuddle.

‘Tell them there was a late-running skateboard.’ Meagan grinned.

‘Funny. So, what are you two going to do with the rest of your day?’ Simi asked.

‘You mean who!’ Meagan winked.

Simi pulled out of their hug.

‘Sorry, Meag, but no side pieces. That’s got to be rule number seven. You need to get rid of Todd,’ Simi reprimanded.

‘What? Why?’ Meagan spluttered over the roar of another incoming tube.

Giving up sex so she could date was like giving up chocolate to eat more fruit. It was ridiculous.

‘Because if you’ve got a backup, you’re not invested,’ Simi explained crossing her arms.

Jemima rubbed Meagan’s arm. ‘I’m sure you can survive one month without Todd the Rod.’

‘How am I supposed to make him jeal— I mean, how will Todd know to back off if he doesn’t know I’m seeing other people?’ Meagan said.

‘I think, if you stop seeing him, he’ll get the message you’re not seeing him,’ said Jemima.

Meagan scowled.

‘I’m not seeing him and if my vajayjay heals up because of this, there will be consequences. Thanks for ruining my afternoon, Simi,’ Meagan griped.

‘It’ll be good for you!’ said Simi before blowing them a kiss and heading off to her class.

Meagan slumped against the tiled wall, glowering at weekend shoppers and tourists bustling around her.

‘Fancy a drink at mine?’ said Jemima.

‘Well, seeing as I’m not going to be getting any, might as well,’ Meagan moaned.

Jemima laughed and linked arms with Meagan as they hopped onto the next train. But Meagan was not laughing. No sex with Todd… for a whole month. She made a mental note to buy a large pack of batteries on the way home.