‘Sorry, Meag. You’re right. It’s fine.’

‘Sweet, now can we discuss this dating mad ting or what?’ Meagan laughed.

‘Double yes!’ Simi said, clapping as Jemima carried on stirring her sauce.

Chapter 15

Meagan

‘I just don’t think the best place to play this game is a gelateria,’ said Jemima folding her arms.

‘Just say ice cream shop and stop being such a ponce,’ Meagan tutted.

It didn’t matter where they were, they just needed to get going, she huffed. Once they had, Simi could start to forget about Oscar and Meagan could start drip-feeding news of her dating escapades to Todd so that he would calm the hell down with his unrequited love-in.

‘What’s wrong with this place, Jem?’ Simi asked, jabbing a spoon into her cookie dough gelato.

‘There’re children here!’ Jemima blurted, gesturing around her.

‘So? We’re not about to hump a bloke on the counter!’ Meagan gassed. ‘This isn’t about finding someone to go IKEA shopping with! This is just practice.’

‘Well, either we’ll get dates or get arrested for cradle snatching. Actually, rule number six. No breaking the law,’ Jemima declared.

‘I’m gonna break something in a minute,’ said Meagan slapping her hand. ‘Enough with the moaning, Jem. For real. If you’re gonna do this, you can’t be moaning the whole time. You’re giving me tinnitus.’

Meagan looked around the West End shop and its bustling Saturday afternoon crowd. This place was fine. No one knew them, it was busy and there were plenty of men. Granted a lot of them looked like they were on a gap year but what did that matter. After the woeful display at Ripley’s this was exactly what they needed – a safe place for a trial run.

Jemima sighed. ‘Believe it or not, I’m fine about the game, I just hoped we’d be approaching people who were of voting age and how come this place is so busy? It’s freezing outside.’

‘You know what it’s like, teenagers and northerners never feel the cold,’ said Meagan.

She clapped her hands together. It was time to put into practice what they’d come up with at Jemima’s a few nights earlier over wine and a pretty decent spag bol.

‘Okay, Simi, you go first. You’re going to find someone for Jemima. Think about who she is and what she needs. Not what she wants,’ Meagan cautioned, ‘what she needs.’

Simi thought for a second. ‘Well, for a start he’s got to be anally retentive about recycling and correcting the grammar on takeaway menus.’

‘I did that once!’ Jemima said raising her hands in defence.

Meagan laughed, scanning the room. She spotted a young guy in thick, dark-framed glasses having an animated discussion with his friends and gave Simi the nod.

‘Him,’ she said cocking her head his way.

‘He looks about 12 years old!’ said Jemima.

‘I’d say early twenties,’ Simi said, squinting.

‘He’s got a skateboard,’ Jemima hissed.

Meagan craned to look. ‘Environmentally friendly transportation. Right up your street!’

‘I mean, I know this is a trial run but I could actually see you together,’ said Simi.