Back Armageddon Outta Here
Chapters (21)
  1. Title Page
  2. Dedication
  3. Table of Contents
  4. The Timeline
  5. Introduction
  6. Across a Dark Plain
  7. The Horror Writers’ Halloween Ball
  8. The Lost Art of World Domination
  9. Gold, Babies and the Brothers Muldoon
  10. The Slightly Ignominious End to the Legend of Black Annis
  11. Friday Night Fights
  12. Myosotis Terra
  13. The Wondergul Adventures of Geoffrey Scrutinous
  14. Just Another Friday Night
  15. The End of the World
  16. Trick or Treat
  17. Get Thee Behind Me, Bubba Moon
  18. The Button
  19. Exclusive Peek at the Dying of the Light
  20. Copyright
  21. About the Publisher

Scrutinous peered into the water, and his eyes widened. “I see a fish,” he said. “A small one, a tiny one, but… it’s a fish.” He looked up. “When there’s enough water, the shark will appear, won’t it?”

“I’m afraid so,” Skulduggery said. “Which means we have to get through this door.”

Skulduggery and Valkyrie walked through the water without disturbing it, Scrutinous splashing noisily after them. They ran their hands all over the wall, feeling for imperfections.

“There has to be a lever here somewhere,” Skulduggery said. “The time and the effort was put into making this door virtually undetectable, not into making it impenetrable. At Maybury’s price range, it’s one or the other. So there has to be a lever somewhere nearby.”

Even as he spoke, something clicked beneath his fingers. The wall shifted, the door swung open, and Skulduggery led the way in.

It was a small room, windowless, with an armchair and a side-table. On the side-table there was thick book and a scalpel. There was water in here, too. Now it was up past Scrutinous’s knees. His legs were freezing, and every now and then a school of tiny fish would brush past and he’d jerk away.

“We may have a problem,” Skulduggery said.

Scrutinous stopped scanning the water and glanced up, saw a corpse in the armchair. Valkyrie had her hand covering her mouth and nose, but all Scrutinous could smell was the briny sea.

“That’s Maybury?” he asked. “But… he’s dead. He is dead, isn’t he?”

“He must have trapped himself inside,” Skulduggery said.

“He starved to death?” Valkyrie asked.

“I’m afraid he ran out of air long before that could happen. He obviously didn’t think this through too well.”

“But if he’s dead,” said Scrutinous, “how can he lift the curse? Who’s going to lift the curse?”

“The important thing to remember is not to panic,” Skulduggery said.

“How can I not panic? A shark is going to eat me!”

“It’s really not as bad as it sounds. I was attacked by a shark once, back when I was alive. Well, not so much a shark as a rather large fish. And not so much attacked as looked at menacingly. But it had murder in its eyes, that fish. I knew, in that instant, if our roles had been reversed and the fish had been holding the fishing pole and I had been the one to be caught, it wouldn’t hesitate a moment before eating me. So I cooked it and ate before it had a chance to turn the tables.”

“That,” Valkyrie said, “is one of the most useless stories you’ve ever told me.”

“I’m just trying to make Geoffrey feel better.”

“You went fishing, Skulduggery. That’s not the same as being eaten by a shark.”

“It shares similarities.”

“Like what?”