“It was a trick,” he said. “You really were here to stop me, weren’t you? You really were here to foil my plan. This is the last time, you hear me? I will escape whatever prison you send me to, and the next time we meet you will pay for—”

“Who’s this?” Valkyrie Cain asked.

Scaramouch paled. “What? What do you mean, who am I?”

“His name’s Scaramouch Van Dreg,” Pleasant told her.

“She knows who I am!” Scaramouch shrieked. “I am your deadliest enemy!”

Cain raised an eyebrow but ignored him. “Has he got anything to do with Fines and Nocturnal?”

“Nope.”

“Then why are we wasting our time? Come on, we’ve got real bad guys to stop.”

Cain walked out. Skulduggery Pleasant looked down at Scaramouch and shrugged.

“I’ll just chain you up for the moment, but the Cleavers will be around soon to take you into custody. Is that all right with you?”

Scaramouch started crying.

“Good man. Don’t let this get you down, though. We all need goals, and I fully expect to do battle with you again, OK?”

Scaramouch wailed.

“We need more villains like you, you know that? We need more bad guys who want to take over the world. There aren’t enough of them. The others think it’s just, you know… silly.”

Scaramouch felt the shackles on his wrists. He had to look up to watch Skulduggery Pleasant leave the dungeon.

Gold, Babies and the Brothers Muldoon

he cemetery was cold and dark, and the dead man was standing on his grave, watching her as she approached.

“Hello,” she said.

The clothes he had been buried in were torn and musty, his shoes caked with mud. He stood with a slight stoop and he had, for the most part, skin and hair. The middle of his face had rotted, however, robbing him of lips and nose and eyelids.

“You’re late,” he grumbled. “Midnight has come and gone.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Lives hang in the balance. You’re lucky I stayed.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You are Valkyrie Cain.”

“That’s right.”

“Thirteen years old, Elemental by power, partner of the skeleton detective, and late.”

“I suppose.”

“You’re lucky I stayed.”

“So you said.”

“I could have left, you know. One minute past midnight, when you weren’t here, I could have walked away. I didn’t have to wait here for you. I was under no obligation. But I stayed, because I have no wish to see innocent lives taken.”

“You’re a corpse,” Valkyrie said. “Where were you going to go?”

He glared at her, but didn’t answer.

He started walking, shuffling off his grave, up towards the ruined church. She followed.

“I thought the skeleton would be with you,” the dead man said as they walked.

“We’re quite busy at the moment, so Skulduggery had to stay behind. I said I’d take care of this one on my own.”