Back Armageddon Outta Here
Chapters (21)
  1. Title Page
  2. Dedication
  3. Table of Contents
  4. The Timeline
  5. Introduction
  6. Across a Dark Plain
  7. The Horror Writers’ Halloween Ball
  8. The Lost Art of World Domination
  9. Gold, Babies and the Brothers Muldoon
  10. The Slightly Ignominious End to the Legend of Black Annis
  11. Friday Night Fights
  12. Myosotis Terra
  13. The Wondergul Adventures of Geoffrey Scrutinous
  14. Just Another Friday Night
  15. The End of the World
  16. Trick or Treat
  17. Get Thee Behind Me, Bubba Moon
  18. The Button
  19. Exclusive Peek at the Dying of the Light
  20. Copyright
  21. About the Publisher

“So what are we going to do now?” Scrutinous asked. “It’s almost eleven o’clock. I have one hour before a shark eats me.”

“You’ll be fine,” Skulduggery said, poking around. “Everyone spread out. Look for clues.”

Skulduggery and Valkyrie went wandering, examining things and muttering to themselves and each other. Scrutinous bit his lip and checked his watch.

Almost three quarters of an hour later, Skulduggery found something in the main bedroom.

“It’s a door,” he said, rapping his knuckles against the wall. “Very well hidden. Whoever installed it knew what they were doing.”

“Where does it lead?” Scrutinous asked, and shifted his weight. The carpet in here was soggy, and water spilled through his sandals to wet his socks.

“It could be a stairway leading to a tunnel, or it could be a single room.” Skulduggery stood back. “Maybury isn’t the strongest sorcerer out there, and by all accounts he doesn’t have many friends. It is therefore entirely conceivable that the moment he released the cursed pen upon Elwood Satchel he secluded himself away until it was all over. If something went wrong with the curse, if it didn’t work, then Satchel might come after him.”

Valkyrie peered at the wall. “So you think he’s still in there?”

“Mister Maybury,” Skulduggery said loudly, “we need to talk to you. If you can hear me, please open the door. I am a detective with the Sanctuary – we’re not going to hurt you.”

They looked at the wall and waited, and nothing happened.

“Um,” said Scrutinous. “Where’s that water coming from?”

Valkyrie looked around. “What water?”

Scrutinous splashed his foot a few times.

“That’s the carpet,” Valkyrie told him.

“And why is it covered in water?”

She frowned at him. “What are you talking about? It’s not. It’s just a regular carpet.”

“It’s a regular carpet covered in water, Valkyrie. You’re standing in it, too.”

“No, Geoffrey, I’m not. My feet are perfectly dry, as are yours. Are you feeling OK?”

He stared at her. The water was rising. It was up to her ankles. It had completely covered his own sandals. It was cold and wet. “You can’t see this?” he asked. “You can’t hear the splashing? You can’t feel it?”

She hunkered down, put her hand in the water, flat on the floor. Her eyes were on him the whole time. “Am I touching the water now?”

He nodded. She brought her hand up. It was perfectly dry. No drops fell.

“Oh, dear,” Scrutinous said.

“Interesting,” Skulduggery murmured. “The curse must deliver a reality that only the victim can experience.”

“Which explains how a train fitted into Cassidy’s living room,” Valkyrie said.