Ben looks over at me and frowns, like he thinks I’m trying to get rid of him, when really I just want him to get a good night’s sleep and rejuvenate. But he doesn’t argue; he just stands, as though hypnotized, and leads Charlie and Bree back home.

I watch them go. But as soon as I’m alone, I feel suddenly out of place surrounded by the other guards, all laughing and joking easily. For me, smiles come rarely. The past constantly lingers in my mind like a storm cloud, only parting occasionally to let in a ray of sunshine. None of these people have the same darkness inside of them. I should be feeling peaceful and happy right now, but I can’t. I can’t just see the crazy attack as a one-off to be forgotten, because for me it was just the latest battle in my long, never-ending fight against the world we live in. And while we won that particular fight, somewhere in the world, another group of children loses.

Ryan must notice my change in mood, because he comes over and extends his hand to me.

“Come on,” he says.

“Where are we going?” I reply, looking at his outstretched hand.

“For a walk.” He beckons, urging me on. “Come on,” he presses.

I don’t feel like I have much choice but to take his hand and let him guide me to my feet.

We walk. It’s pitch black and the stars are twinkling above us as we stroll away from the light of the fire and out into the compound.

“Brooke, I know that you think the way the fort works isn’t fair,” he begins.

“What makes you say that?” I reply. “I understand why it has to work this way. I just don’t think that it’s enough for me.”

“What do you mean?” he asks.

I pause, trying to gather my thoughts in such a way that I can articulate them. “I mean I have to do more,” I begin, carefully. “I can’t live with myself knowing others are out there dying. I need to do something. I can’t be part of a place that doesn’t do more to help people. It would make me a hypocrite.”

“Does that mean you want to leave?” he asks, frowning.