Sam listened as Kade passed on what the Indians wanted. To study how the children used Nexus. And to look for any signs that Nexus had harmed them. To try to spot the risks of deploying it to millions of Indian children.

He had a million things to say, as usual.

She had one question.

“Is there any risk to our kids in this?”

Kade looked her in the eye. He was tense around her. She could see it in the way he sat with his body closed off. The way he froze up. Anger, too. She couldn’t blame him for either.

His very presence sent her pulse shooting up. Sent memories her bullets smashing into the outline of Kevin’s face, his body tumbling out into the night cascading through her brain.

“I’ll approve every step,” Kade said. “I won’t allow anything that’s invasive.”

Sam nodded. “OK then.”

She stood to go.

Kade blinked in surprise. “That’s it?”

She cocked her head. “You got what you wanted, right?”

She turned to leave.

“Sam,” he called after her. “The kids would love it if you took Nexus again, if they could…”

Blood bubbled up through the wound in Jake’s chest. “I wish I’d known you,” he said. His mind collapsed into chaos and then nothing.

She stopped in the doorway, her fists clenched, breathing hard. She turned.

Kade was standing, looking at her, like she was broken.

“I will. I’m going to. Just not yet.”

“There are other drugs,” Kade started. “That can help with traum…”

“I don’t want your fucking help,” Sam snapped.

He flinched, visibly.

Sam closed her eyes.

“Shit,” she said.

“I just…” Kade started again.

Sam held up her hands. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

Kade was shaking his head. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“Stop,” Sam said. “Let me finish. I tense up when I see you. I’ve got a bad case of PTSD. I’ve got some serious hell to go through.” She looked him in the eye. “And it isn’t just about you.”

Kade was looking at her.

“I’m through with killing, Kade.”

She saw the shock go across his face.

“Do you remember Lee? Head of our security squad in Bangkok? Ordinary guy, doing his job, maybe saved both of our lives?”

Kade swallowed. “Wats killed him. Not you.”

“I’ve killed plenty,” Sam said. “Some who deserved to die. Shiva did.”

She saw him want to object. She raised a hand to forestall it. “Plenty of them didn’t deserve to die. Lee’s men in Bangkok. The marines at Ananda’s monastery, though I tried like hell not to kill any of them.”

“They would have killed me,” Kade said. “Or taken me to deep dark hole…”