The minutes passed. We sank down to the sleeping bag, our mouths still drinking hungrily at each other. Whispering something in Spanish, Seb kissed my neck, then my mouth again, his hand caressing its way up my side...and I wanted it to feel as wonderful as it had at first, but little by little, unease was growing in me. Seb’s lips weren’t the ones I was used to; his body against mine felt different. I shoved the thought away – I refused to think about Alex now; I didn’t want to think about anything; I just wanted to keep losing myself in this warmth, this moment – but then slowly, slowly, the kiss ended.

Seb raised his head, looking down at me.

And it all felt so wrong suddenly that I wanted to cry.

The weight of what I had done came crashing down on me. I sat up shakily as our angels rushed back to us. “Seb, I – oh my god, I’m so sorry—”

He sat up too. His mouth looked bruised where I’d just been kissing it. “Why are you sorry?” But from the expression in his eyes, he knew.

I hated saying the words; they tasted like bile. “I’m not in love with you. I shouldn’t have done this – it was a mistake.”

Seb hesitated. Almost in slow motion, he touched my hair, just like he’d done the first day that we’d met. “You are in love with me, a little,” he said softly. “I can feel it.”

I shook my head, hardly even aware I was doing it. “No. I love you as a friend. That’s all.” My words came out quiet and certain. Because no matter how wrong it had been, kissing Seb had done one thing at least: rid my mind of any confusion I might have had. Everything seemed so clear now, as if the world had just leaped into sharp focus.

His throat moved. The candles still burned around us, their warm golden light playing on the wall. “Maybe this was just too soon – maybe someday you’ll feel different.” He reached for my hand and gripped it tightly, his emotions raw on his face. “I’ve loved you for so long, Willow. It’s always been you, my whole life.”

My heart was breaking. I wished so much that I was in love with Seb; that it was possible for me to say that someday I might be. But it wasn’t. Whatever strange alchemy it is that makes you fall in love with one person and not another just wasn’t there for me, with him. Maybe I’d been picking up on his feelings and mistaking them for my own, a little – but now, when I was really looking at it, I could see the truth.