‘Now that you two have exchanged pleasantries, do you think you could possibly direct us to the Burlington Hotel? I’ve been driving around in circles for twenty minutes and apart from helping me identify you as Pat Malloy from Tallaght, sleeping beauty here has been of no great use to me!’

‘Oh, so you want directions?’

‘Yes, I want directions! Why else would I be stopping you in the street?’

The man rubbed his chin and some of its debris landed on Cormac’s face.

‘I thought you were stopping to give me a lift home. Then when I didn’t recognise you, I thought I would try to put a name to your friend there to see if maybe I could place him. But to tell you the God’s honest truth, I’ve never met a Cormac O’Reilly either, though I do know a Seamus O’Reilly, but I think he moved to England a good few years ago, or was it America?’

He paused and leaned into Cormac.

‘Would oul’ Seamus be a relative of yours now, Cormac?’

Before Cormac could answer, Harry’s hand was across his mouth.

‘Look, Pat, he’s not related to Seamus O’Reilly, and no, you don’t know me either or the two girls here, but we are terribly lost and would be extremely grateful if you could point us in the direction of the Burlington Hotel!’

He lifted his head from Cormac’s face. His fragile stomach was grateful.

‘Ah, the Burlington! Lovely hotel, bit pricey for my tastes, but I can tell by the car that money won’t be a problem for you boys, what? I went to a dinner dance there once and had me a dance with another man’s wife. It didn’t end well. But sure it was me own fault, know what I mean lads? Sure she was worth the beating!’

Harry pushed the button and the window next to Cormac started to rise.

‘Have a good day, Pat.’

Just as Harry finally closed the old man outside the car and locked a little of his smell inside, there was a knock on the window. Harry sighed and pushed the button again. Pat Malloy from Tallaght leaned in far enough for Cormac O’Reilly, no relation to Seamus, to firmly establish that the moustache was indeed fully grey, but was stained orange in the middle, due to some foreign particles that had not had the good fortune to have met with a bar of soap for some time. He could hold them no longer. The contents of Cormac’s stomach left him for the second time in one day.

Undeterred by Cormac’s rude interruption, Pat ploughed on.

‘The Burlington is on the south side of the Liffey. We are currently on the north side. Therefore you need to be on the south side. Oh, and Cormac here is not very well, so you shouldn’t be wasting any more time sitting here gassing with me. I bid you good day, gentlemen and lovely ladies in the back there!’