Yes, I had help—LeVon Murphy was just wonderful, a cheerful, strong and handsome man who came at eight and left at four. He handled John’s physical and occupational therapy, took him for walks, tried to engage him with puzzles and problem solving. Sometimes he stayed for dinner, and it was so nice, having a man who complimented me on my cooking and helped wash up. In addition to LeVon, a speech and language therapist came three times a week.

And Sadie was here, sleeping in her old room. I had to give her credit. She stepped up. She did the grocery shopping, the housework, took John to his doctors’ appointments and kept a log of who said what and when. Filled his prescriptions and sat with him, talking, bringing her paints over, sometimes even bringing Brianna and Sloane to do art therapy, saying it was good for John to have the kids around. She wiped her father’s face at dinner with a tenderness that made me almost jealous. Would she have done that for me? I doubted it.

Sadie and I picked at each other. I didn’t mean to, and some of my comments were harmless enough—Do you think you’ll get a job?—but Sadie always found a way to take offense. That calm sense of being alone faded with her there, tromping up and down the stairs, reading aloud to her dad, asking me question after question about his care.

Not that John seemed to notice she was here. He looked at everyone like a curious chickadee, head tilted. Or he’d fall asleep in the middle of a conversation.

Even in his current state, he could make me feel irrelevant. It wasn’t a fair thought, but it came nevertheless.

One night, Sadie plunked herself down in the sitting room, where I was knitting a rainbow sweater for Sloane. John was in the dining room, and the TV we’d moved from his study was on. “Mom,” she said, “I think I’m going to move out.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.” There it was, the edge to her voice.

“Okay, then.” Sometimes there was nothing to do but agree with my younger daughter. Truth be told, it was no picnic having her here.

“I’ll come over every day after LeVon leaves and help out till Dad’s bedtime.”

I sighed. “I’m finding a home health aide to keep an eye on him when I’m not here.”

“I just said I’ll do it.”