Love isn’t always the thing that fills up the room, or your heart. Sometimes, it’s what sneaks into the in-between spaces. I never thought the love of my life would be my best friend. I never expected to get to the point where I found Sadie’s butterfly life to be so enjoyable to watch. I never knew I’d get to have a grandson who wasn’t technically mine, or that my family would grow to include the lesbian baby mama of my son-in-law, or the woman who was in bed with my husband when he died.

But here we all are.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Readers Guide

Questions for Discussion

1. Relationships take a lot of compromise, and we can see Noah demonstrating this when he tries to live in New York for Sadie. Sadie also compromises, telling him to go back home when it’s clear he’s unhappy in the city she loves. For the sake of their relationship, do you think Sadie should have compromised the lifestyle she always wanted, or do you agree that they were too young at that point to make such large sacrifices?

2. What is the right time to adjust your dreams for someone else? The author makes no secret that Sadie and Noah love each other, but neither feels at home in the other’s world. Do you think one of them should have bent a little more, or do you think they made the right choices? (Also, how unromantic were Noah’s marriage proposals?)

3. Were you surprised with Barb’s decision in the end, despite everything that happened and went wrong in her and John’s marriage? Why do you think she chose what she did? What do you think about her view on marriage as opposed to what John’s actions told us about his?

4. Juliet has a memorable visit to a plastic surgeon. We’ve all felt the pressure to look or act a certain way because of our age or what society deems appropriate or good. Can you think of a particular circumstance in which this happened? How did you handle it?

5. Have you ever felt the way Juliet did: that the window was closing on your chances, or that you’d aged out of an opportunity? What did you think of Arwen? Is she arrogant or just confident? Juliet is careful never to stoop to gossiping or complaining about Arwen, yet her confusion is obvious. Have you been in a similar situation?

6. How could both John and Barb have done things differently to understand each other and keep their marriage happy? They’re not happy for a long time, but do you think they’re just accustomed to the status quo? Do you know any long-married couples who seem to be getting things right? What are some keys to a long, happy relationship, or is that a myth?