John, on the other hand, had been sneaking around, becoming an athlete at seventy-five, having sex with another woman for God knew how long, all the while wearing me down with his neglect until I felt like a ghost in my own marriage.

How dare he find happiness with another woman? How dare he leave me in charge of him now, this brain-damaged old man with a catheter?

Honest to Pete, Caro was right. If I thought I could get away with it, I’d put a pillow over his face and smother the old fool.

CHAPTER SEVEN

John

Something is wrong with his wife’s face. It’s too soft. Saggy. Her eyes aren’t gentle anymore.

He thinks she might be . . . not sick, that’s not right, but something like that.

The years have rushed by in a river. There’s an old man living in his room. John isn’t sure who he is. His wife doesn’t notice. It’s not his grandfather, but he looks familiar. He’d ask his wife, but he can’t make words come out.

She smells nice. Not the way she used to, but the smell makes him feel safe, and safe is the best feeling, even if she doesn’t stay near him very long. Those ungentle eyes. Shark eyes, flat and cold when they should be . . . different. He wishes she would sit against him and put her head on his shoulder. He wishes she would let him hold her hand longer, but if he does manage to grab it, she gives it a firm pat and pulls away. If he had words, he would tell her he loves her, but words are gone now, and hearing comes and goes.

There is another woman who is here quite a lot. She talks and sits with him and sometimes gives him food. Her eyes are the same color as his wife’s but not flat. He knows her, but he can’t remember her. Some children come and go, but John doesn’t know them. They make a lot of noise and fling themselves around, and they’re scary . . . so fast and strong. Their mother is another someone he used to know. She talks to him in a brisk, kind way. Maybe she’s someone he works with at the . . . the . . . the place you go in the day to make money.

There is a big man here, too. John doesn’t know him, but the big man helps him and talks to him. John has been hurt somehow. He thinks it was a car accident. His legs must be broken, because walking is so hard, and his knees hurt.

John knows he’s been . . . changed. He’s not sure how.