I look at the guy on the ground, my heart hurting that this is the first and last time I’ll ever see the man that provided half of my DNA. But I can’t even allow myself to be upset because how…HOW?! I make my way down the stairs, the tears falling down my cheeks faster than I can wipe them away. I make it to the car but I crane my neck trying to see the porch. From the angle of the driveway where we are parked, I can’t see much. I notice Joe goes into the house but James is still there. My anxiety rises thinking that Joe could potentially come out with something dangerous so I roll the window down preparing to yell for James to come when Joe returns and hands something to him before slamming the door in his face.

James jogs down the stairs and towards the car before getting in and turning it on without a word. He hands me a shoebox before he backs down the driveway and moves through a few abandoned streets before pulling over. I don’t open it assuming he may want to preface what’s inside.

“I told him to go and find anything of your mother’s. Maybe you don’t want it, but I wanted you to have the option. It’s not fair that you never had any say in this situation and I wanted you to be able to have control over this.” I look down at the box and then back at James who may or may not have risked his life to get this. Something about Joe told me he may not be on great terms with the right side of the law and that he may have come back out with a gun.

“He gave you this?”

“I may have convinced him with the gun I told him I had in my pocket.”

My eyes widen. “You have a gun?”

“Like I was going to come here with you with no way to protect you. I had no idea what I was walking into. I wasn’t prepared to use it, but in case…” He looks straight ahead before rubbing his forehead. “I wouldn’t survive something happening to you Gabrielle and certainly not while you’re with me. Dad told me to protect you by any means necessary.”

I bite my lip thinking about how differently these two men are versus the man half responsible for bringing me into this world.