The sexual … I guess you’d call it just “sex” … but … the “sex” with Tommy was quite different. It was unlike anything I’d ever had before in my life … not that I really want to go into that now, with any sort of detail, but … most of you know what I mean when I say … wow. That’s such a childish word to use, for an adult like myself, but … sometimes it’s the only thing that will do. The things we did … the kind of just … release … that I experienced with that young man … I can’t feel bad about it … everyone should have that chance … at some point in their lives … to know what that can feel like. Just … yeah. Yes. Wow. (Beat.) For a young person … a boy almost … the things he would do, think up to do … were kind of shocking. Maybe they just have more stamina or … or they’re just naughtier today … that might be it, with what’s out there on television and on the Internet and at the movies … there are a lot more images and filmclips a person could see or … you know … wonder about … want to try out on another person … I’m not sure how he knew to do what he did to me … but he did it … and it was quite breathtaking … no matter what the cost was. In the end. (Beat.) For a time we did things to each other—things I really can’t even imagine suggesting to Eric … let alone doing … and yet I did all of them with this boy … so eagerly … and with such abandon … that I am not ashamed. Even now. I’m not at all ashamed and even the thought of some of those moments can make me shudder inside with a kind of real … ecstasy … a sort of longing and an absolute sense of desire for him—right up to this very day. I mean, my God … this young man who brings me such great pleasure and I do the same for him. Because I did, oh my God, did I ever … do things to him and make him scream and … and … well … you know. Yes. I did that. All that. Just … unforgettable. (Beat.) And to say these things out loud, to tell anyone I know about this … I would be a pariah. Hissed at. While a man, any man doing the same thing? A slap on the back and a knowing wink … the disparity between the sexes, when it comes to sex, is astonishing. Even now. Even today … disgusting. But that’s not … here I am, once again. Off topic. Forgive me. (Beat.) I know that I misled him … not just in the usual sense of the older person in the situation … of a teacher misleading a student …