The imaginary crowd sounds grow and grow, overtaking us and drowning out all other sound.

The lights brighten in intensity until ERIC is nothing more than a ripple of movement in a sea of white.

The crowd continues to roar its imaginary approval.

Silence. Darkness.

WITH HAIR OF HAND-SPUN GOLD

I’M BACK.

I am back and you knew I would be. You knew it. Didn’t you? Yes, you did, don’t give me that look, you knew exactly what was going to—doesn’t matter. I’m here now so we should get started, get this thing all started and going. Go ahead, you can throw up, it’s not going to stop me, make me feel bad, I promise you. It’s not. You’re getting exactly what you deserve here, you are, you deserve it and that’s what is going to happen. Fate, or Karma or, or whatever they call it. Kismet? I know that was a play or something, a musical, but I think that word means the same sort of thing. Something happening that was supposed to happen and then it does. It comes true. Wham! Just like that. “Instant Karma,” isn’t that what Lennon called it? Not the dictator, but the Beatles guy. In his song. Right? He said “it’s gonna get you” and that is just so goddamn true. It reaches out—figures out where you are, takes its time to find you—and bam! Before you can even move or anything, it’s got you by the throat and you are fucked. It’s true, my dear. You are motherfucked. And so that’s you, today, at this very minute. Or second, or whatever you wanna call it. You are about to be motherfucked. By me.

I can see by the look on your face you’re surprised, so don’t pretend. Do not pretend that you were ready for this one because you weren’t. You were not. I came out of the blue, as they like to say, out of the darkness like some avenging angel—I’m not sure that’s the exact right analogy but you get what I mean—I appeared and it has thrown you for a loop. A big ol’ loop and you don’t know what to do, what to say even, sitting there on a park bench with your mouth hanging open and staring at me. Wow. I really caught you off guard, didn’t I? You knew this could happen but you still were not ready for it. Not today. Well, I can’t say that it doesn’t make me happy because it does. It makes me smile right down into my soul and that’s the truth so you might as well know it. I am happy to see you sweat. Really. Honestly I am. I mean, who knew? How would I ever know that it’d be this easy to make that happen, to bring your little world to a halt, for it to come crashing down around your ears? How could I be privy to a thing like that? You can’t, that’s the answer. You wouldn’t until you just go ahead and do it and now I have and I’m aware, by looking at your face I’m aware of the magnitude of what’s going on right now, at this moment, as we sit here quietly in the middle of this park and your kid is playing on the swings and life bounces merrily along. If you could scream or draw a gun or kill me even, stab me and cover me with dirt right here in those bushes behind us, I think you would. I know it, actually. I know that you would. And, to be fair, I might do the same damn thing if I was you, shoe on the other foot or whatever people say to mean what I’m talking about. I might also want to do you harm. Well, I do, actually, want that, me, I’m saying, shoe on my own foot and staring at you right now. I do want to bring a kind of harm to your life. And I’m about to. Yes, I am. Yes indeed.